I’m Proud — Are You?
So it’s Pride month. I wasn’t sure what to write in this post, but as a gay woman and a blogger, I couldn’t not write anything. Gay, straight, queer, trans, bi or whatever you identify as, I’d like to try and take the proud away from being a sexuality thing and look at ourselves as a whole human being. ‘Straightness’ or ‘gayness’ is not a lifestyle nor is it a choice, it doesn’t define who we are either. What defines who we are, are our values and our attitude. Are we kind? Are we open minded? Are we loving? The list could go on…
I’m proud of who I am. I can be a bloody pain sometimes, but by and large I’m happy to be me, and through being as near to 100% authentic as I can be, no matter how difficult that can be. It’s such a shame that there are so many naysayers out there that put down what they don’t understand. People, gay or no gay, face ignorant, abusive and down right unnecessary comments and for what? Just for being brave enough to be themselves. Take Vicky Beeching, a public figure who happens to be Christian and gay, and who came out a few years ago at 34. According to the myriad of idiotic trolls there are about (sadly), being a Christian and gay isn’t possible. What the hell is it to them? I’m not entirely sure I would have the strength of character to be myself with the incessant negativity. It’s admirable. I remember Cynthia Erivo, lead in The Color Purple on Broadway facing vitriol on Twitter for being a black woman with blonde hair. I mean, come on who really cares? Why do we have to fit into this constrained little box. Who made these stupid rules up?
Everybody can be their own version of what they are. So I’m gay, but I’m so many other things than that, and although I am talking about it now, it really isn’t a big deal. I’m my own version of gay. The fact that I ‘don’t look like one’ or ‘don’t act like one’, well what is that exactly? I’m me and I just happen to be attracted to women. I watched that awful 50 Shades of Gay documentary the other night thinking it might be an insightful hour exploring the diverse lives of the gay population. Half way through I felt a little annoyed that the one opportunity that Channel 4 had to make a documentary during Pride month ended up representing gay life and history as being seedy, hedonistic and it was quite closed minded weirdly. We’ve come so far for Channel 4 to poo poo everything…grrr.
And it works both ways you know. Us British are so polite we can go a bit crazy at times with the political correctness. A male friend of mine was telling a story about a rather irritating gay guy (although I’m sure the fact that he is gay is irrelevant). As I was in earshot, he said before, ‘I’m not homophobic or anything’. I giggle inside. Gay people can be bell ends too you know. It’s all part of being human! And then there is ‘that’s so gay’. To some that is extremely offensive and I get that. It doesn’t bother me personally. If I were to say ‘that’s so straight’ would that be offensive? But when people say it, I want to ask ‘and what would that be, being so gay?’. I guess it’s a case of stopping and engaging the brain before the mouth opens. But when people stop themselves when they realise somebody in their company is gay and apologise. Isn’t that being a bit hypocritical? Just carry on saying it and be your own authentic, ignorant self ;-) Okay so I joke a little.
Well I’ve gone on a bit for somebody with nothing to say! From a well-being perspective my point is, be unashamedly you. It can be difficult in a picket fence world and it can take time (I’m not just talking about the gay thing here)— I’ve not always been openly and confidently gay. All I can tell you is that everything is a process and from lots of downs and facing fears can be lots of ups and happy times. Go on you, be you!