Catering To Whims Shouldn’t Be Held Up As A Shining Example Of Love
What polyamory and caring for my dying mother taught me
The other day this post showed up in my local Facebook polyamory group.
What many people who read that took from it was the sentiment about showing real caring and love for those who are dear to you. Although I support that part of it wholeheartedly, especially the part about putting down your phone and being present with them, the part about the chili landed all wrong for me. What I saw was a woman being encouraged to put her own needs and wants aside in order to cater to her husband's whim — because who knows, he might up and die.
Yes, be good to your people and do nice things for them often, but why can’t the guy make his own chili or go buy some if he really wants chili so bad and she doesn’t want to go to the store? Her having no boundaries and being completely at the mercy of whatever pleases him isn’t love — it’s toxic, and it shouldn’t be being held up as a shining example of how to go about a healthy, lasting relationship.
