Elle, I’ve been through 2 custody battles in my lifetime.
Sean Ross
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I’m not disputing anything that you are saying about the inadequacy of the family court system, but that’s not what these tropes that I’m speaking to are actually about. They are about blaming women for things that they have no actual control over. I’m talking about a very narrow and discrete aspect of this topic, and you are continuing to ding me for not taking the whole big picture into account. This piece is not about the inadequacy of the entire system; it’s about the lobbing of gendered grenades by men at women — something that you have earlier professed to be against.

“For every dollar of child support the state awards in a custody case, an equal matching dollar is given by the federal government, back to the state. It follows to reason that there is a rational basis within this system to preference primary custody to one parent. Once you understand that, you can pattern out the rest.”

Who made these laws? Men did, because they hold the overwhelming power in government. Blaming women, particularly the litigants, for that is unfair and nonsensical. It may benefit them, but the litigants had no part in creating the system. This is my point.

You have not shown that the facts I’ve enumerated are erroneous — because you can’t, because they aren’t. I’ve already stipulated that they are not the entire picture, but I’ve also said this piece is not about the entire picture and all of it’s facets. It’s called Sexist Tropes for a reason. It’s about the tropes.

I get that your personal experience with this subject, which must have been highly unpleasant, colors your point of view. I have compassion for that. But it doesn’t excuse blaming all women for something that for the most part, women had nothing to do with instituting and have little to do with enforcing.

Edit: There is absolutely no place in this article where I have attacked men. I am defending against the baseless and frankly spurious attacks that have been made by men. I speak about the patriarchy, but that is a social system, and not a person or even a set of people.

Unless you can demonstrate to me where I’ve actually blamed men for something, you are off the rails again — swept away by your emotional responses rather than anything grounded in logic or reason. It’s the same blinding response that prevented you from noticing all 7 quotes and citations that were made in the other segments. I’m not saying that to be pissy and rude. I’m just pointing out what seems to be taking place. And if that’s not what’s taking place, perhaps you can then explain to me why you were so sure there weren’t any, dispite them being highlighted and offset and plentiful.