You know that feeling where your mind decides to stop attacking you, and you think you’re out of the woods, but instead it freezes your ability to feel. You can still engage with other people but you’re a husk. You’re just for show. Everything you say and do is automated and devoid of any personality like a canned response email. There’s no happiness but there’s no sadness either, it’s just nothing. You can’t even be distracted because you don’t have the capacity to focus on anything anyway. You count yourself lucky because you’re still able to walk and talk and see and hear, but when you do, it’s not coming from you. It’s coming from a memory of you, a bank of information you stored in your brain in case of shutdown. You’re a backup generator, the emergency lights are on but no-one’s home lol.