Red Head Confessions: Chapter 2

Emily Sto
Emily Sto
Jul 25, 2017 · 3 min read
white as snow….+a little red hair

Confession #2: I secretly am really into the God-Thing.

I have thought about writing this piece for a while. My beliefs are something that I often shy away from in my writing, not because I am ashamed of what they are, but because they are mislabeled, misheard, and often create barriers with people. My “faith” is complex and messy at best.

As a kid, faith and religion was something that colored my entire world. I was the good Sunday school/Wednesday night/Bible study/church camp girl. For example, I knew what sexual purity was before I knew anything about sex. I was well acquainted with Bible verses and stories like the back of my hand and, boy, could I tackle a round of Bible Jepordary.

Fast forward to the moment when my family was kicked out of a church during my senior year of high school….

When this happened, surprisingly, I did not lose my view of who Jesus is. There was a piece of my heart that knew that the heart of Jesus could not be connected to the actions of the individuals with whom a church community was formed with. Yet, this time gave me the space to really flesh out what I believe about community and religion.

  1. I realized that the title “Christian” would never be the same to me….and honestly it was something that I did not believe that I could abide by. “Christian” became the condemners, the unloving, and those turning a blind eye to the broken. It because a buzz word, instantly bringing to mind those that have brought pain to so many and inflicted their unkindness onto others. For this reason and the next, I have ran away from this term.
  2. Who Jesus is, who He was in the Bible, and who He is to me still is so far from who I believe so many people associate “Christian” with. Jesus was the person who dished back some feisty words to the woman at the well. Jesus loved and cried, open armed embraced the misfits and marginalized. Jesus was a straight up social justice warrior and loved so passionately. He loved without boundaries or judgement. Because of this, I can follow Jesus. I can walk forward wanting to step with Her, because who He is, is someone worth following.
  3. She can never be put into a box. (See what I did there, switching gender) I believe that God is more complex and multifaceted than we will ever realize. It is why I believe that there can be space in faith for all of colors of human. In the kingdom, I believe that there can be both the long skirt homeschool mom and the punk rock single chick, the theologian and the athelete, the newly wed gay couple and the straight couple that have been married for seventy years. Jesus never drew lines of who was welcomed and loved, and I believe we should never as well.

My beliefs are layered and complex. They cannot be expressed in simple sentences. After years of wrestling, longing, and falling into the grey and messy, I have realized that I know so little, yet Jesus is gracious and loving, accepting all the fractured and imperfectness that I offer. She is bold, loving and fire. He is relentless, open-armed, and compassion. Jesus is who I aspire to be like- love and more love.

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