Misunderstanding and Mental Health

Emma Louise
Jul 22, 2017 · 6 min read

Mental Health is high up on the agenda nowadays. There are calendar days dedicated to it. Employers are more mindful and accommodating. Celebrities like Stephen Fry are using their experiences to demonstrate how pervasive mental health conditions are, and how those affected often suffer in misunderstood silence. As a result of this increased awareness, people are slowly starting to accept that it is a thing, and that it does require equal attention to physical ailments. But there is still a long way to go and I believe that more education is necessary. People also need to just start talking about it and be open about it to remove the stigma. Celebrities are in a position to influence but we all have a responsibility as individuals- to understand and to actively break down stigma and even fear of mental health conditions. I am mostly going to talk here about depression and anxiety as these are the most prevalent mental health conditions of our time, but a lot of what I say can be extended to other conditions. This is mostly going to be about the issues I see that remain in mental health awareness and I will also touch on my experiences.

In my opinion, one of the issues in the understanding of mental health is the cross-over between the use of depression and anxiety as terms used in both clinical diagnoses and in colloquial language. The latter relates to how we all say in normal conversation that we feel depressed because of the weather or because of a hangover, or we’re anxious due to an upcoming exam. It almost takes away from the severity of the clinical conditions, because naturally the words are trivialised somewhat due to their more general definitions. It’s not anyone’s fault and I’m not advocating that we stop using these words in this way, but we must be able to separate the usage of them in the two contexts.

Another key thing we have to do is break down any stereotypes and assumptions of what a mentally unwell person looks, sounds and ‘presents’ like. The most important thing that I want to impress here is that quite often there are no triggers. One of the most difficult things for unaffected people to understand in my experience is quite why you feel like you do when to them there is no obvious reason. Well there are two important things to remember:

1. You might not know everything that is going on behind someone’s external façade. You have no idea what their experiences are, or what they are dealing with.

2. Potentially harder to understand- there may simply be no obvious reason.

Mental health issues (especially anxiety and depression) quite often creep up on you, can stem from a myriad of small factors, and they also behave rather irrationally.

This is one of the reasons why mental health misunderstanding has remained quite pervasive in society. It is difficult for a human with a ‘normal’ brain to understand that another person’s brain can be processing information differently, potentially due to chemical imbalances or structural differences in the brain (causes of mental disorders remain mostly unclear). So I understand why people just don’t get it. Or why people think ‘just snap out of it’ or ‘don’t worry about it’ is good and appropriate advice.

But trust me, when you suffer from a mental health condition, you want to snap out of it or stop worrying about it. Logically, you know it’s silly and perhaps there is even a layer of guilt on top where you don’t feel like you should feel like you do. Especially if there is no tangible or obvious reason. It just makes no sense. It’s also made harder by people’s lack of understanding because that makes you feel guilty and sometimes like you don’t have a right to feel like it. But in my opinion, if you feel something you are justified to feel it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have an objective justification, your experience is true to you.

I have personal experience of having depression and anxiety, both with no serious or obvious triggers from the outside. I had a brief encounter with both anxiety and depression back in 2009 when I went to and dropped out of Oxford. However, there was an obvious cause back then, and as soon as I removed myself from the situation the symptoms were relieved. Then, in 2011 they came back with a vengeance.

I was in my 2nd year of University when the anxiety returned, in the first term before Christmas.

The trouble is I didn’t have panic/anxiety attacks; I just felt really spaced out and weird and couldn’t focus on anything. It wasn’t due to University pressure or deadlines though. I actually felt better during exam periods because the relief of having something that justified my anxiety helped me.

I managed to get through my 2nd year and was much better in the second term. I also secured a good placement at a big pharmaceutical company for my year in industry. However, not long after I started the job in July, the depression and anxiety hit me in tandem. I just felt awful. I was in a relationship and the distance between me and my then boyfriend unsettled me. The shock of going from university to the structure and pressure of normal working life was also difficult initially. By September I was basically not functioning. I mean I was still going to work every day, but it was not easy. I had no energy to exercise and I often got out of bed at the last possible moment to get to work and thus never had time to take care of my appearance.

As I had moved somewhere different I had to get registered with a new GP because it got to the point where I couldn’t go on like that any longer. I managed to get referred for some counselling, where I simply just ‘talked it out’ with the most lovely counsellor. He was like a big teddy bear. He prescribed me anti-depressants to combat both my generalised anxiety and depression and quashed my concerns about taking medication with the analogy that if I had an infection I would take an antibiotic, so if I have depression I should consider taking an antidepressant.

I’m planning on doing a post on anti-depressants after this where I will explain in more detail what I have experienced on medication. Since first taking medication, I have been on a rollercoaster with my mental health. I have had very good periods but unfortunately they were reason for me to believe I didn’t need the medication anymore so I would come off it. Cold Turkey. Not a good idea. I would then be ok for a while but eventually plummet back down to rock bottom again. I’m currently on Fluoxetine and have been for about 18 months and am planning on staying on it indefinitely.

Through all of this, my circumstances have never been utterly terrible; nothing really bad has ever happened to me. I still got very good grades at university, had a lot of friends, and I imagine it seemed as though I had my life sorted out from the outside. People often found it very confusing when they got to know me better when they realised how inconsistent I was and that sometimes I would just stay in bed all day and not want to go outside. A lot of people just didn’t get how I could possibly be depressed or anxious. And I’ve had my fair share of ‘snap out of it’ or just ‘get up and do X- it will make you feel better’. I’m eternally grateful to the people who have understood, and been there in my times of need. If you ever find yourself suffering with anxiety, depression or whatever, don’t be afraid to speak up, to a friend, a parent, a university tutor, a GP, even someone online. There is no shame, and so many people will be there for you and the important thing is not feeling alone any more. Because the hardest thing about mental health is the crippling loneliness that comes with it, even when you’re surrounded by people.

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