Three Hurdles That Couples Struggle To Overcome: Cross Them and You’ll Be Together Forever, Most People Fail at the Second One
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There’s a saying online:
“Even the most loving couples will have the urge to strangle each other two or three times in their lifetime.”
When you first meet someone, especially when you two are still attracted to each other, that’s the most beautiful moment.
There’s a poem that says:
“If life were only as it was when we first met.”
The beginning of a relationship is the most beautiful, and many people wish they could freeze time at that moment.
We always think that things change as we go along, so we always look back on the past with longing, but we don’t have confidence in the future, we feel terrible about reality, and we feel heartbroken about the present.
Actually, nothing has changed, it’s just that people tend to be nostalgic, so they always think the past was the best.
Couples will definitely encounter some things, but as long as you grit your teeth and get through them, everything will be fine.
There are no smooth sailing lives in this world, no smooth sailing love or families, yet some people can stick together for a lifetime, while others may end up parting ways.
A marriage needs both people to work on it, some hurdles can be overcome and you can stay together forever, but some people fail at the second hurdle.
I once watched a dating show.
A woman who worked at a TV station said on the show:
“In the couples I’ve seen working at the TV station, there’s a seven-year itch. If you get through it, you can renew your contract, if you don’t, you might break up. I’m the one who didn’t get through it and chose to leave.”
Later, this woman successfully held hands with a very excellent man, but it has to be said that many netizens were skeptical about her second marriage.
If you attribute a breakup to the seven-year itch and think it’s normal, then you might have that same inertia in your second relationship. You might think that after seven years, if you want to renew the contract, you stay together, if you don’t, you just go your separate ways.
If you think that love is just an agreement, and marriage is just a contract, then you’re being too utilitarian. That kind of life isn’t very happy.
However, as the two of you spend more time together, and time goes on, things are bound to happen, and the passion between you two will gradually diminish. This is when many conflicts arise.
These conflicts usually emerge when a couple has been together for seven years. If you can fall in love with each other again at this time, learn to be tolerant and attract each other again, then your relationship can actually last.
Yang Lan said:
“Marriage is about constantly updating yourself, and your partner is also constantly growing, then you attract each other, and fall in love with each other again.”
So, sometimes when this problem arises, you need to know how to solve it in time, so that the two of you can continue to go on.
Lack of Communication
Some couples lose the courage and the desire to communicate halfway through.
When they encounter problems, they just argue and never think about solving them directly. When a couple reaches this point, they’re already in a state of madness. They don’t communicate and keep arguing, which makes the relationship more and more distant and leaves scars on each other’s hearts.
Actually, many situations are like this:
Some couples always feel that they’re already married, they’re inseparable, so they can say hurtful things to each other, thinking that it doesn’t matter because they’ll still be together the next day.
But sometimes you don’t communicate with others, yet you say hurtful things. This is fatal to a marriage and to the relationship.
An old saying goes:
“Kind words warm you in winter, harsh words hurt you in summer.”
Don’t think that everything you say can be taken back. Words spoken are like water spilled, they’re hard to take back. So when you encounter a problem, don’t argue, and don’t use harsh language to hurt each other. The best way is to communicate.
I often see couples who keep bringing up old grievances. They always say things like, “Last time you said such cruel things to me, I’ll never forget it.” They hold a grudge.
So sometimes, don’t think that just because you said it, it’s over. It actually leaves scars on the other person’s heart. The best way is to communicate properly. As long as you can solve your problems rationally when you two are not communicating, you will definitely have a brighter future.
The Appearance of a Third Party
A third party in a relationship is fatal. It’s okay for someone to make mistakes in love or marriage, but many mistakes can be forgiven. However, if you betray someone in a relationship, it will have very serious consequences.
So sometimes you need to understand that no matter what, you should never betray your partner. And when your partner betrays you, you should also know that the relationship is over.
A while back, I went to West Lake to play, and I met someone I really liked there. But I resisted, I refused when they asked for my WeChat. Even though I liked them, I already had a partner, so I couldn’t make that mistake.
The same goes for when a third party appears in a marriage. If you find yourself attracted to someone else, but you already have a husband or wife, this is a hurdle in your relationship. If you can’t resist temptation, add their contact information, and in the end, you two might really get entangled, which would be the most fatal damage to your relationship.
Sometimes when you feel something is wrong, you need to stop it in time. There are many beautiful things in this world, and we’ll also meet many people who are attracted to us.
But the person who can stay with us till the end is the one who is most destined to be with us. We shouldn’t betray them. Even if we are attracted to someone else, we should eliminate any potential third parties as soon as possible.
These are the hardest hurdles for couples to overcome, but some people have crossed them and ended up staying together till the end.
No one’s life is smooth sailing, and the same goes for our marriage and relationships. But people who are happy in the future often know how to cultivate their marriage and cherish each other, working together to overcome the difficulties in life.
