I married and divorced later discovering that ten years on, my ex had kept my name. A later relationship which lasted five years, saw my partner legally change (at rather high cost) her surname to mine and state that that was to be it for life! She later married a great guy who respected her decision and they seem to have no problem using two different names although contrary to your maternal/paternal ideal, their son has his father’s surname. My new (current) wife took my name when we married and that seemed natural, I believe she is happy with that name though I would be fine with her keeping her “maiden” surname.
I think you have a good solution with the exception that I dislike middle names: my mother had just the two but for some reason which she cannot remember she added John (the most dull name in the universe) into my name. I accepted her second husband’s surname but he died quite young and I decided I wanted a completely new and suitable identity. My first wife carries my step-father’s surname (no, I have no idea why); my ex uses my adopted surname instead of her “maiden” or her previously married name while her son takes his father’s identity. My mother has her second husband’s surname and none of us are interested in my biological father or his name so my wife and I are the begining rather than the end of a line. I have no idea what my daughter will choose to do but whatever it is, I will be proud of her.
Thank you for speaking about an important issue which is too often ignored, I could never mistake my wife as my chattel, particularly as she probably thinks the other way around, in fact the idea of a matriarchal line seemed to be the definite way to go around the time Watson and Crick explained DNA.