It has been fun and burns since relocating to Nigeria

January 6th
 Now this is a country that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. Nigeria. I love it here.

January 12th
 Really heating up. Got to 65 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a real sun worshipper.

January 31st
 Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

February 5th
 The temperature hasn’t been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it’s a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

February 17th
 Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

February 21st
 I missed Tabby (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left for work this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over #300,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told bae she ran away. The car now smells like dung. No more pets in this heat!

February 25th
 Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is in a state of disrepair and AC repairman charged #35,000 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

February 28th
 Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. 700k for rent and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

March 5th
 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost #60,000 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman took a pee in my pool. I hate this state.

March 11th
 If another smart arrrzze should mistakenly ask, “Hot enough for you today?”, I’m going to tear his throat out. Freakin’ heat . By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Jerry!!

March 14th
 The weather report might as well be a freaking recording: Hot and Sunny. It’s been too hot to make love for two scalding months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this barren desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all week, so 200k worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the pool. Even a cactus can’t live in this heat!!

March 21st
 Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Toyota. The installer came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for you today?” Bae had to spend the #63,000 to bail me out of jail.

March 30th
 Worst day of so far. I’m not leaving the house. The tropical rains finally came and all they did was to make it mushier and probably more messed-up than hell.

That does it, I’m checking out of here. I need my chill, peace and quiet back! … and yes, my chill!


Originally published at Enroute Nigeria.

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