In It For The Long Haul

There’s been much written and discussed after Robin Williams’ tragic death, a few days ago, due to suicide. The usual remembrances have been given for a storied career in film, television, and in the comedy clubs. There regrettably also has been the excessive nature of our 24/7 media on full display — exemplified when helicopters were flying over Williams’ home trying to accomplish something, I’m sure. Maybe it was feeding that insatiable hunger for exploitation with just another hit in a vacuous attempt to quell the urge. And then there were pieces, like this one by Russell Brand, taking a broader perspective of the entire situation. In the article’s denouement, Brand writes how he may choose to respond to the tragedy:

What I might do is watch Mrs Doubtfire. Or Dead Poets Society or Good Will Hunting and I might be nice to people, mindful today how fragile we all are, how delicate we are, even when fizzing with divine madness that seems like it will never expire.

Many people have (rightly) discussed how important and utterly debilitating depression can be — especially if left untreated. One would hope that the spotlight on the issues of depression and suicide would carry on into the future, just as strongly as Robin Williams’ body of work has managed to resonate with so many people for years. But it might not, despite all the attention and earnest reminders from those who spur others not only to seek help but also to be of help. Nevertheless, we should work to resist that unfortunate pattern of apathy and detachment. So much in life is fleeting that the instances which do actually carry substance or a certain germane essence deserve to be held on to, supported, and cherished.

And that includes those who are struggling, for no one is immune.

According to the World Health Organization, depression, which is the leading cause of disability, affects an estimated 350 million people globally. But it doesn’t take stats to drive the point home. You, or someone else close to you, may have had a degree of depression that had you reeling for a period of time — from a temporary trial to a more protracted battle. Even if you’re not suffering from a diagnosable condition, the daily internal and external stressors that we all face can grind down even the seemingly strongest amongst us to an unsound state. What is so crucial, though, is the amount of support a person has when responding to such stressors.

“Who will be there for the long haul?”

This question is something that is important to all people, but particularly those who are dealing with hardships. You may think you have many people who profess to care about you, but it’s hard to grasp the true depth of any relationship until the road starts to become bumpy. As one of my former professors used to tell our class, “I’m good at separating the wheat from the chaff.” Yet, it doesn’t take a doctorate degree to be able to do the same. In those moments of need, when all seems bleak and you’re not certain what your next move will be, those with genuine concern will rise to the forefront. It won’t taking pleading or a guilt trip. Those with sincere intent will stick around, even if there’s no remedy in sight. It may be a surprise who lingers or who fades away in disappointment. But what it means to have someone making even a modicum of space in her or his life for you and all your complexities, quirks, and struggles is profound.

Humans are dynamic creatures, along with the other animals on our planet. Every person has their own set of fears, dreams, turn-ons, turn-offs, convictions, struggles, etc. However, many of these aspects overlap in ostensibly disparate groups of people, even if the individuals in such groups have been conditioned to believe otherwise. One of these universal ideals is for love and affection. If one is surrounded by a healthy support system, that person not only will be able to share in the good times with those close but also will be able to better weather the inevitable low moments.

If you strive to be that “long-term” person in someone’s life, no matter how much you think you’re making a difference, you never know what kind of an impact it will have.