Tapping Out of the Abortion Debate (For Now)

I think it’s time for me to take a break from being a vocal pro-life activist. Maybe just for a little while. It’s been a 25-year-run, after all.

I remember walking in the local March for Life when I was around 8 years old. To any child, abortion is a concept is horrifying. For this child, the concept of abortion remained horrifying into adulthood. I struggle to understand how it could be anything less than horrifying to others.

I have volunteered at Crisis Pregnancy Centers, walked in Marches, written heartfelt articles, given money to struggling single mothers, advocated tirelessly on behalf of the unborn. I’ve cried for the lost babies, promoted adoption and foster care like crazy and participated in painfully long arguments on social media. I’ve mourned the loss of the aborted children of people I know personally. I’ve thoughtfully considered the other side’s arguments about how the pro-life movement doesn’t put enough emphasis on the other side of the womb — and agreed that we MUST be better supporters of helping provide for the needs of those who courageously choose life in the face of fear and uncertainty, poverty and medical problems.

I didn’t need an undercover video to show me what an abortion was. It’s a fairly simple concept — one my grandma had on a bumper sticker that lived on her car for years: “Abortion stops a beating heart.” That’s IT.

It’s brutal, often painful (if a woman is far enough along) and merciless. But if you are reading this, you likely already get all that. I’m not writing to convince anyone of the realities of abortion. I’m writing because I’m not sure I can do this anymore — not for awhile.

The past few months have taken their toll on me. Bitter arguments on social media, heart wrenching images seared into my mind, little hands and feet sloppily thrown into a grab bag of “fetal tissue,” babies the same age as my own unborn child talked about over lunch as sacrifices & pawns for scientific research.

Finally, I thought, people have got to get this. But, of course, plenty of people don’t. People I’m friends with, people I respect, people with moral character. I can’t wrap my mind around how people justify abortion, especially past 12 weeks (or 20 weeks, have mercy!) — people I know and respect. But, as one Facebook friend put it, my heartfelt pleas aren’t going to change the debate or make anyone “see the light.” I guess not.

Despite knowing that the nation is becoming more pro-life, that science is convincing people more and more of the realities of abortion, I’m still personally exhausted by the debate. I get extremely upset about it, so passionately outraged that I just want to (and sometimes do) cry at the injustice and the frustration.

I got into a fight with a friend, with my sister, and a million strangers online. I cried each time…maybe because I’m pregnant & overly emotional, but it happened.

Every time I think, THIS is it, the thing that no one can possibly refute. I’m wrong again. There’s always someone coming back with an excuse, a reason, a justification — a relentless twitter follower, Facebook friend or commenter who delves into paragraphs of rebuttal.

And then I just want to throw my hands up and say — nevermind, you win. The babies lose.

Well, listen, the babies aren’t losing. The nation is becoming more pro-life and more and more people certainly are getting it. But right now, I have to step away. I can’t share another Planned Parenthood video or get angry at one more pro-abortion writer talking about how I’m against “women’s healthcare” (abortion is the opposite of healthcare…). I’m tired in this fight…

So, for now, signing off — at least for awhile (I’m not sure how long I can possibly stay on the sidelines but…) Someone else get in trenches will ya? My heart needs a break.

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