The reason why Facebook is ruining your relationship

Ernesto Benavides
Aug 25, 2017 · 3 min read

That's right. It is. How often are you posting? Once a day? Twice? Everytime you go to the gym?

I know I get it…

“But I wanna inspire my friends and fam with my posts.”

Really? Then why do you check to see how many likes you’ve gotten every 5 minutes?

Because it’s not about inspiring it’s about ego. More specifically it’s about Signifiance. And this is where the problems begin.

Most people are driven by 1 or 2 basic human needs. There’s 6. No, these are not the human needs of survival by Maslow..

These are:

  • Certainty
  • Uncertainty / Variety
  • Significance
  • Love / connection
  • Growth
  • Contribution

Typically, and according to Human needs psychologists, and popularized by high performance life coach Tony Robbins, most people are driven by 2 of these. And Significance seems to be one that sticks out. Again, We all have these needs.

Here’s the scary part to these needs. They are so powerful in guiding the decisions we make that We will break morals. We will break values in order to meet them.

“I can’t believe my wife cheated on me”

It’s possible that over time, you didn’t value her and make her feel significant. So she went out to find it.

What easier way then to look to social media for approval, for likes, for encouragement, for attention. That’ll make you feel significant within a couple of seconds depending on what you post.

“I can’t believe my husband cheated on me.”

Did you make him feel important? Make him feel wanted? Did you support him? Did you encourage his goals and aspirations?

Or did you tear down? Gave him a hard time. Mocked his goals? And kept at it the same all these years with the same routine? And not appreciate him?

All these are forms of significance as well.

And human beings will break the rules to meet them — because it’s a NEED not a want.

So what is one to do? Quit fishing for the like and start fishing for opportunities to talk to your partner. Look for ways to make them feel special. The longer you’ve been together the more important it is to advertise and impress each other as if you just met.

Remember way back then? The early days? Eating all neatly at dinner. Trying not to look messy. Being all proper. Getting flowers or cards or some gift at meaningless occasions. Why did you get me this Hun..? Or just cuz.

Go back to that. Social media is powerful. But it can also be destructive. Your partner may not tell you, STOP posting! Or maybe he/she will but it’s taken without any understanding on both sides. Without trying to understand what’s really going on.

He’s pissed cuz you’re showing yourself to the world. And you're pissed cuz he’s telling you what to do and stop posting shit. At the end of the day you’re both looking for significance.

Take a step back. Nurture. Impress. Encourage. Support. And shower with love. And put your best foot forward… Always! You have all the power and ability within you to repair what’s broken, or what’s “missing” you just have to pay attention. Be aware of your partners needs and meet them. And make sure you communicate yours before the next time you hit post.

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Written by

Entrepreneur, Author, CrossFit Affiliate owner since ’08. Passionate about Personal Development, Fitness & Business. http://bit.ly/HDPoptin

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