Pua Nani
Pua Nani
Aug 22, 2017 · 2 min read

Beautiful article; I was surprised but happy to see it was written by a man. I have almost never watched porn, not more than a handful of videos, but when I have, I’ve been quite shocked to see how ugly and boring it is.

Most porn is like fast food from McDonalds. Absurdly poor quality, artificial and crude, lacking in substance and integrity, a tasteless substitute for real nourishment. To me it is miles away from what real sexual intimacy is like and I don’t know how people can waste their time on it or consider it pleasurable.

Sex in porn is compartmentalized and decontextualized. There is a reason sex was historically called “making love,” it is fundamentally a deep expression of love in intimate relationship between two multifaceted humans. Yet sex in porn becomes empty and two dimensional. How much has the popularity of internet porn contributed to the rise of the fuckboy mentality, in which guys want sex that is devoid of emotional attachment, companionship, basic human warmth and connection?

Yes porn in its current state cannot be good for women. However that does not mean that porn can never be good for women. It could if popular tropes and narratives in porn changed to reflect greater honor and respect for women. Imagine this as a porn scene: a husband comes home from work to find his wife cooking dinner in the kitchen. He comes up behind her and pulls her away from the stove to the living room, passionately makes love to her, telling her how beautiful she is and how much he loves and values her all the while, takes time to kiss her sweetly, stroke her adoringly, lick her pussy, make her cum, then he cums, then they return to the kitchen and eat dinner together, sharing with each other about what happened during the day.

My first boyfriend used to say that porn has to be as empty as it is because it would emotionally break the lonely men who watch it, if they had to see a scene such as I have described above. But porn is aspirational, whatever we focus on all the time becomes what we want. If men focused on sex scenes with loving emotional content, they would put greater effort into seeking that out.

I have heard that Gloria Steinem makes a distinction between “porn” and “erotica.” I don’t think that the two have to be separate categories. I would like to see porn transformed to contain more of the qualities that erotica has traditionally held: artistic vibrance, relationship context, emotional content. Then it could be good for men and women.

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Pua Nani

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Pua Nani

A few words on the sensuality of life. poetess ~ psychic visionary ~ artist ~ shamaness ~ lover ~ curvy goddess www.eroticapoetica.com @eroticapoetica 🌺