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Okay buddy, you get one.

But before I get into it you need a little background on me.

If you did any research at all, you’d know that I’m a 30 year old woman doing her second degree, who speaks 4 languages, was raised by a diplomat and a military trained communications technology expert. I aced my way through the international baccalaureate system and spent my formative years in Zimbabwe during the farm takeovers, so if a white kid growing up in possibly the only country in the world to have institutionalized racism against white people can wrap her head around the idea of white supremacy, it shouldn’t be that hard for anyone else to get.

I was building computers before I had boobs and I’ve been on the internet since Jerry turned his guide to the world wide web into Yahoo. So as far as I’m concerned, you’re in my house now.

I work in education and communications — specifically in the space between people and technology. My specialty is the ability to move between several levels of coded speech and make things clear for others. I’ve explained misogyny to engineers in a way that they get it and actually start doing something about it.

So that’s who I am. Believe me, I would love to have a conversation with you, I really would.

I honestly have nothing to talk to you about.

The reason I’m not taking you up on your points is because you’re not interested in having a conversation. You may not believe me, you may think I’m a snowflake. But what I want you to know is that the language you use and the way you move through discourse is a very clear indicator that you are not interested in a damn thing I have to say.

So, I apologize that your poorly executed attempts to sneak up on me with hot button topics like abortion and identity politics didn’t work out the way you planned. I’m sorry that I didn’t completely derail a conversation about white privilege to talk about your feelings about millenials. I’m sorry that you think so very little of the world that you spend your day shitting on people on the internet because you think they’re wrong. Or young. Or whatever it is that you’re mad about. I can give you one consolation prize though, this response. It’s nice and long(!) and if you want you can go and tell people that you “triggered” a woman on the internet because you did such a poor job of baiting her into an emotional response.

You want to win. Well fine, whatever man, you win. Congrats.

When you want to have a conversation without competing, I’ll be interested.