How to Heal Fully

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Working With Vulnerabilities

Healing often tends to be interpreted as the opposite of Hurting. One hurts oneself either physically or mentally, and is left with Pain. If appropriate care isn’t taken and you haven’t tended to your wounds, then the hurt can lead to subsequent suffering with the pain. Many teachers and facilitators in the past have quoted, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” What about psychological pain? How do we understand healing in that context?

When it comes to life experiences, Healing is a mechanism of assimilating an experience, usually unpleasant.

By assimilation is meant -

* Agreeing that the experience has occurred;

* Accepting that it has come into your life for a reason; and, from that space,

* Understanding the hold that it has on you currently, as well as aspects of the incident that you would need to release from your psychological space; and, generate valid takeaways.

Healing brings to us life learning’s; amongst which is working on one’s own Vulnerabilities. That is where the concept of ‘Healing Fully’ comes in. Which brings us to the question of what vulnerabilities are and how does one work on them.

Understanding Vulnerabilities

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Vulnerabilities are those loose ends in your Thinking — Feeling — Action continuum which deserve regular attention. Mind you, this applies to every single one of us. Also, it’s not that you do it for a while briefly, and you are done with for life. Sometimes, patterns in the mind are stubbornly glued. Those are the patterns which are firmly ingrained in one’s mind, pop up out of nowhere and one is caught unaware. This is where the actual work is needed.

Asking yourself the following questions can start the process

1.What purpose are the patterns serving me?

2. How do they make me think and act as I go by their commands?

Usually the purpose being served is protection; and with an automatic mode at play, one has adapted to such a defense — a safe space to be in while witnessing a perceived ‘threat’.

Once you start noticing the patterns often and over a period of time, every time they occur, you would be in a better position to catch them and ask them what they mean. Have a dialogue with them.

Ask them:-

‘What are You(the pattern) trying here?’ Maybe, it’s just a habit with attached identity that gives you a certain sense of ‘This is what it is to Be Me’; ‘I am So and So’. Really? Is that so?

‘Am I limited to these patterns?’ Is that really a holistic way of being?

Acquainting with Patterns

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Talking about patterns, let’s explore some — talking over, speaking out of your turn, listening with ‘ears’ only. Well, although these are examples of communication patterns, they are relevant to relationships of all kinds and have a role in how you could connect or not with others. After all, what is the world that we all live in? A connection of people and networks; communication being one pertinent key.

So, coming back to the question at hand. Are you willing to explore and open up to the patterns that you often think and play out? True opening up, with the above example of communication pattern could mean, having a self-talk.

Effective Self-Talk

‘I understand , I have been talking over people for quite sometime now’. Here, you have opened to the possibility of engaging deeply with yourself since it leads to the next step of self-exploration.

‘Do I really need to continue doing this? Look what happened the other day… and in…..situation, etc.’. This leads to some insight, since you have shown a mirror of outcomes to yourself. And then, you have sensed a nuance within. Explore what the insightful nuance does to you. Does it make you feel a certain way …resistance, fearful, guilty?

The next step then is, ‘ How would I rather feel ? What would I need to do about this pattern?. The answer for our example perhaps could be,‘ I think I need to just take it easy when people talk to me, understand what they are trying to say, and when I get a sense of completion about their message, I ask myself whether I would want to give some feedback and/or remain silent’(all of these decisions and choices while you are in the conversation with another).

Workable, isn’t it? It is, always.

Remember, Healing is not always about a Trauma; but also healing out of old patterns while we are Being and Becoming. Vulnerabilities noticed and worked earlier on with the help of the above simple questions can actually go a long way, not just in Healing , but charging you with a fresh new perspective in life, leading to great levels of insights and satisfaction in the process.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Help yourself Heal. Work on those itchy Vulnerabilities. NOW. Right NOW is the time to become a new You, fully charged with the right equipment to process experiences in a much enhanced fashion.




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Essence Speaks

I am a Counselling Psychologist, Writer, Mindfulness Facilitator and an Artist. A wisdom facilitator to enable one's journey within.