He Faded Away

you faded away
gray
just gray
memories
i can see them in my mind
only if i squint.

you faded away
gray
it took
days.
ok months.
fine, years, if i’m honest
i prayed hard. i said
god. either give him to me
or take him away
no in between.

but god didn’t listen.
at least not right away
he left you there
sharp edges and all
i kept bumping in
and hurting myself
or was it you hurting me?
i don’t even know.

and then one day
i didn’t say one fine day
it wasn’t fine.
just one day
you were faded away
i realized when i looked up
from the book i was writing
from the peace i was feeling
inside