Starving Artist Rich In Love

Esther Maria Swaty
Feb 24, 2017 · 3 min read

I am surrounded by boxes in what is my last morning sitting here in my favorite corner of my apartment on 5th and Washington. Next to me is the old wooden Smith-Corona typewriter box and on it is my steaming cup of tea, my Paddywax Amber and Smoke candle, my mala beads and a new book “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. Almost every day since I moved into this apartment in the summer of 2015 I light my candle, make a cup of Ahmad Earl Grey Tea and cozy under some blankets for my morning ritual. I observe the noisy traffic outside of my window, I listen to Queenie (my cat) slurp from her water fountain and I journal.

The pages of my journals have been filled with high highs and very low lows. I have written about creative individuals and projects, changes happening in the neighborhood, relationships, financial challenges and dreams. You see this was my first apartment I had to myself and after living in a shoebox of a room in New York it felt quite like a mansion. Every day I walked to client meetings at my favorite spot (Elm Coffee Roasters), sometimes I caught the street car up to Capitol Hill or in the evenings I would Uber to meet friends for happy hour. Apartment #304 at the corner of 5th and Washington has been my safe haven, a place where I hosted dinners with friends and by dinner I mean sitting on the floor with our plates piled high with pasta and a bottle of wine between us, where walls were decorated with inspiration or the latest action items for a new project.

Yesterday was like most days filled with meeting new clients, fellow creatives and friends. I was reminded me why I have given up so much to do what I do. I started with a dream at the end of 2015 to launch my own business and help creatives and entrepreneurs like myself. Honestly I have accomplished so much more than I would have imagined. I am filled with a multitude of feelings but the greatest is love. I love the people I have met, the projects I have been able to work on and the creative community I have been able to contribute to and my family who has supported me. In one of my coffee meetings yesterday a fellow creative entrepreneur urged me to not give up. She proceeded to help me see areas where I might be able to make adjustments or clarify what I do, and reminded me that I have something of value that even though the road is not easy it’s worth it. Later that evening a friend introduced me to someone as a writer, which I am not sure I would label myself as… but it spoke to who I so very much desire to be.

This year I had hoped to create a home and have greater affect on the culture. From all outward appearances it may seem that I am going in the opposite direction. Tomorrow all of my items are moving into storage: when I leave this place I will have one duffle bag packed with clothes and one black vintage suitcase filled with a couple of books and stationery, my favorite tea, my candle, and a cat in my arms. I can’t put a tidy bow on this chapter and I truly have no idea where this road I am on will lead, but I do know that over the last two years my heart has expanded more than I thought possible. While all else is being stripped away, I have a strong sense that the most important thing in life is love and I am so very rich in that.

Esther Maria Swaty

Written by

Multi-Disciplinary Systems Thinker Managing SPLC a $17million campus at the intersection of learning & innovation for Seattle Children’s @UncommonCartography

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