Leap of Faith — Inanimation to Life

What makes me feel alive? — A memento from my Leap of Faith Class


To learn what makes me feel alive, I’m going to first describe what makes me feel dead. I feel dead when I am told what to do without believing that the work that I’m doing is purposeful. When I am confined in a box, with a particular role doing a particular thing, repetitively. When I am stagnant, not moving, not growing. When I am sitting on the sidelines, watching instead of playing. When I am evaluated based on a value system that I simply cannot get behind. When I feel disconnected from other people. When I feel alone, without purposeful and healthy relationships. When I am told things without reasonable explanation. When I eat too much unhealthy food. When I get sick. When I live in my head instead of in the world.

Now, let’s reverse this and see what happens. I feel alive when I am doing my thing, connected to a purpose much larger than myself. When I am let loose in a jungle, free to explore new territory everyday. When I am moving, growing. When I am fighting in the arena, instead of watching the show. When I evaluate myself based on my own value system. When I feel connection with others. When I know my relationships are purposeful and healthy. When I do things that I believe are important. When I eat healthy foods. When I am healthy. When I am mindful of the present moment, living in harmony with the world around me.

I feel alive when I feel connected with myself, my social circle, and my environment. This past week, I felt alive. I felt connected. I felt one. So what was different about this past week than weeks prior? What gets in the way of you feeling alive? Let’s explore that.

Conventional thinking. Playing safe. Following others. Going with the system. Comfort with how things are. Standards. For 18 years, I followed a system. I followed the advice of others. I listened to my authorities. I went to class, got good grades. And did what I was told without believing what I was doing was best for me. I was tired of it all. I was dead.

This past week. I did things differently.

Creative thinking. Walking across my typical, self-made boundaries. Leading others. Questioning the system. Discomfort with my path. Unknown measures and outcomes. For 1 week, I dared myself. I dared myself to lead myself. Listen to my own advice. Go to class, learn what I want. And doing what I was telling myself, believing what I was doing was best for me. I was excited by it all. I was alive.