Don’t let others deflate you

5 ideas to keep an inspiring conversation going

Part of becoming an authentic personality and a good leader is taking ownership. Especially in interacting with other people. What happens in a short interaction affects your attitude, thought, perspective and belief? It’s time we take responsible for the quality of these interactions.


One of the things I love to do is to listen to others. Seeing from the other persons viewpoint reminds me of how connected we are. People care. They want to be heard and that is why I look for opportunities to keep quiet and learn.

I can listen to anyone until I am convince the conversation is not worth my time. It matters what you listen to; they serve as deposits in your personality.

Here’s how to develop value-filters and focus in a conversation:


  1. Come to the table prepared. You must have convictions in life and speak up for what you believe. But be willing to accept new ideas. Speaking with convictions let people know that you know who you are and what you are about.
  2. Ask questions. Don’t just accept things at face value and pretend to understand when you don’t. Ask people why they say and believe what they say. Why?
  3. Listen for common grounds. One of the things you can do to connect with people you talk with is to emphasis things you both agree on. What’s the result we are after? Put the relationship ahead of being right.
  4. Politely say No. The opposite of finding common grounds is telling others (politely) what you disagree with. If the person is matured she will like you for this in time. It communicates to the other party that you are not naive. But don’t just say no for the sake of it.
  5. Give compliments. It will calm the person’s nerves and relax their tone. A sincere compliment will knockout pride in the other fellow. Plus, they will reciprocate. This keeps the conversation in a positive tone.

The Bible says you are the company you keep and I believe it. While you can learn so much by listening to others; you must not become a garbage dump. Take charge!