The Dark Side Of Modeling

Even being with an agency doesn’t mean you’re safe.

In my “Being a model taught me beauty isn’t real” article I talked about the harmful ways the modeling industry creates an image of perfection and perpetuates unrealistic beauty standards. Now that could be considered a crime in itself; but in this article I’m going to talk about sexual harrasment, sex trafficking and the general other dangers that most models will run into at some point.

Throughout my short 2 year modeling career there were many times I genuinely feared for my safety and wondered if I’d be getting home alive. One particular incident was especially terrifying but I can’t write about it yet, because it’s still being investigated by police. It wasn’t an assault but it was an attempt to groom me for trafficking. I’ll start off by giving you some background about sexual harrasment in the industry. It’s incredibly common. Sadly, I couldn’t find any statistics because most models do not report these things. Some of the worst photographers I worked with had stellar references from other models. I wondered if it was because they were too scared to speak out or if it was because this behaviour is so normalised in the industry that they didn’t see a problem with it. Either option is pretty disturbing.

A few years ago, model Cameron Russell asked fellow models to anonymously submit their stories of sexual harrasment, assault, and general questional conduct from photographers and agencies to her Instagram page. The response was huge and I suggest you check out her account to read a few of the stories- because what they describe is pretty much standard.

This story that was submitted to her account is just one of the many submissions she received, and I’m sure hundreds of other models were too scared to speak out at all. I’m going to share with you just a few of the creepy and frightening experiences I had whilst I was modeling.

1. The level pusher

In modeling the term levels is used to describe what type of modeling you’re willing to do. It sets a boundary that should be respected and not crossed. So, for example the lowest level would be fashion and the highest would be nude or art nude. My highest level was lingerie.

One day I received a message from a photographer who was keen to shoot with me. He said he wanted to shoot mainly fashion and a few lingerie photos. He told me he had a home studio and booked me for 4 hours. Now, I know a few photographers who have professional home studios so that didn’t set off any alarm bells. I contacted two models he had worked with previously and they both assured me that this guy was “great” and “so much fun”.

A photo of me taken in an actual home studio by a non creepy photographer.

The minute he came to the door I felt uneasy. He said nothing. I apologized for being late and he didn’t respond. He was about late 20s to mid 30s and was fairly muscular. A change from the old man photographer trope, but no less creepy. He led me into the “studio”. It was a bare living room with an incredibly dirty carpet, an empty pizza box laying on the floor and a leather sofa the only piece of furniture. There was a photography light in the middle of the room-I suppose he thought that meant it was a studio. I immediately felt uncomfortable and wished I hadn’t gone. I had brought about ten different outfits and changed into the first one in the bathroom. He only photographed me in this outfit a few times before he said “Why don’t we move on to lingerie?”.

I was in lingerie for the rest of the shoot. Turns out he really wasn’t interested in fashion. For 4 hours straight with no breaks he got me to contort my body in painful ways and he took a photo a second. The flash from the camera felt like it had permanently damaged my eyes. He seemed obsessed with putting me in positions which made my waist look smaller and my bum look bigger. He took many close ups of my bum, and I was incredibly uncomfortable the whole way through. He shouted out compliments the whole time saying things like “Wow” “That’s so hot” and “Ohh damn!”. He told me what a great poser I was, and how natural in front of the camera. At one point he had me on the floor and he was right above me trying to get an overhead shot. He suddenly straddled me, claiming it was the only way he could get the perfect shot.

Eventually he got bored of lingerie and said “Why don’t we try implied topless?”. This is basically when you have no top on but your hands are acting as a bra. I felt uncomfortable with the suggestion but I didn’t want to upset him and potentially escalate things. So we shot implied topless for what felt like a century. He then insisted that we should “move to the bedroom to take some shots on the bed”. He moved the light into the bedroom and I awkwardly got on to the bed as he took photographs and straddled me. The 4 hours was almost up. I was tired, I was uncomfortable and I was worried he might not let me leave. He then suggested we do completely nude. I said “I’m cold, why don’t we do more fashion? I have lots of outfits I haven’t used”. He was visibly annoyed and begrudgingly agreed. When I changed and came back into the “studio” he angrily stated that we were done for the day and that he “had enough fashion images already”. His demeanor had completely changed. He was cold and stony faced, the complete opposite of the compliment giver he had been a few minutes earlier. I packed my things and he insisted on walking me to the station. On the way there he told me a story about a model he shoots that likes him to spank her when the jobs done. I awkwardly laughed and didn’t say much. He reluctantly paid me at the station, grasping tightly to the money and said “Hopefully the photos are good, even though you only have one expression”.

At the height of my modeling career

2. The group of old men in a forest

By this point I had signed with my first agency. My agent had arranged a group shoot for me. Basically this just means there are around 5–10 photographers and they all take turns taking pictures; it works out cheaper for them. It was going to take place at a nature reserve in Essex. I got the train to the nearest station and my agent drove me to the nature reserve, he said he would stay with me throughout the shoot and negotiate payment.

Not only did I end up getting £100 less than I was promised but my agent disappeared whilst I was shooting. One of the photographers informed me he had to go. I was stuck in a forest in the middle of Essex with 8 strange old men. The only way to get back to the station was via car so that meant one of them would have to give me a lift. They shot with me for about 4 hours; I was on edge for every one. I had no idea where I was or how to get home, I didn’t even know who these men were. They were making crude comments the whole time, saying things like “You better not touch her. I know you want to but it’s not allowed”. When asking me to change poses they would make unnecessary references to my body parts such as “Please move your hair off your breast”.

Luckily nothing happened that day except the crude comments and uncomfortable feelings, but it could’ve been so much worse.

3. The photographer who thought he was my boyfriend

The first few times I shot with this particular photographer were fine, and seemed professional. It was only as we started shooting together more frequently that things got weird. He was in his late 50s and obviously lonely, talking about his failed marriages often. He had a daughter who was my age, which I found pretty disturbing. He would make comments like “If only I was 20 years younger. I’d be perfect for you”. He started insisting we have dinner after shoots, “purely as colleagues”. It wasn’t long until he started asking me to go on holiday with him. He said we should take a road trip, just me and him. Of course I declined.

I finally decided to end our professional relationship after a beach shoot. The whole time he was pushing my levels. I was wearing almost see through leggings and he kept insisting I take them off, and got more agitated everytime I refused. On the way back from the shoot he went off on a tangent about how “distant” I’d become recently. He also started saying he was too tired to drive back and we should just find a hotel to stay the night in.

This kind if behaviour is extremely common in the industry, and sadly it’s just accepted.

I remember being absolutely terrified when I heard about the kidnapping of British model Chloe Ayling in 2017. Her agent had booked a shoot for her, but the photographer had kidnapped her and taken her to Italy; keeping her held hostage. I thought about how that easily could’ve been me. Because she had an agent she thought she would be safe, but it just doesn’t work like that.

The truth is: So many girls are desperate to be models, and predators know this. Traffickers routinely post fake modeling jobs online, they reach out to girls on portfolio building websites so that they can begin grooming their victims. They will offer the young girl drugs and alcohol and maybe even buy them expensive clothes to try to earn their trust. They will push their levels more and more. Some modeling jobs posted online actually end up being porn shoots where they coerce the girl into filming scenes.

Even if you don’t run into a trafficker you most definitely will run into someone who sexually harrasses or assaults you. Bring signed with an agency doesn’t guarantee protection. Many girls bring up photographers who have assaulted them and nothing happens; agencies don’t want to lose clients.

In modeling you are viewed as a product to be consumed, and that is exactly how you are treated. Photographers feel they have a right to your body and a right to make you feel uncomfortable. The fact that they are the ones you rely on for work means they know you’ll probably put up with it because you want to get paid. Some photographers are so successful that they can ruin a models career instantly if they were ever to speak out.

What can we do?

If you know any women or young girls aspiring to become a model then send them this article. Show them it really isn’t glamorous. I had some great times as a model but I had many more bad, scary and potentially dangerous times. Let them know that their safety is more important than the false glamour they think they’ll experience as a model.

If you are a model- I’d advise you to quit, but I know it isn’t that easy. If you just can’t give it up yet then I’d suggest being extremely cautious about who you work with; even good references don’t guarantee it will be safe. Always take someone with you, send multiple people the address, and try to shoot in public places. Report any suspicious behavior to the police.

I personally love photoshoots and if you do too then I encourage you to take them up as a creative hobby. Create them with friends, or just a tripod. Creating your own art is easier than ever and with social media you can share it with the world.

And finally, let’s continue spreading awareness because it is the first step towards change.

Follow me on Instagram @evangeline.willow and @healer_wounded

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