Our Marriage

About 2 years ago when I started back up with photography I really had no interest in learning how to photograph weddings. I actually turned down a few couples and it had nothing to do with the stress that comes with shooting a wedding. I was worried I would never be able to be to relate to the couple getting married and the photographs would show that.

I understand the irony in this since I myself am married. The euphoric state of wedding cake and Champagne is all gone because Chris and I are not newlyweds. We would be liars if we said we felt like newlyweds. I was never one that felt like I married my best friend and this is not to be mean, but the reality is that my best friend is Ang. We meet up for coffee once a month reminisce on the days of dancing topless in the rain. lol.

I married Chris: my partner, my husband, the father to my children. Along the way on our journey as husband and wife we definitely changed because as humans and that’s what we do. At times we evolved together, or separately. We had to learn how to be in each other’s lives while being out of synch. When were out of synch, those times of were rough. Things felt stale, boring and little like our marriage was on life support.

We did have some major life “jolts” as I like to call them. A “jolt” is when something happens that turns your life upside down or even inside out. Those moments have brought Chris and I closer because it tested our marriage and what it meant for us.

Like when Chris had to break the news to me that our daughter was sick in the NICU, or when our son was diagnosed with Autism. Or when Chris was laid off from his job and we had no idea what were going to do. Despite these unforeseen circumstances, we always knew, (without hesitation), we could rely on one another.

Recently I said to my husband that we live in a home where we know we will never be judged. We have a home of trust and a place where we can just be ourselves. We can share all of our fears and worries and never will it used for harm or gossip.

We reflected, and realized why we work on ourselves and our marriage… because we love each other.

In seeing these photos of the younger Chris and Viv, it doesn’t make me sad we aren’t newlyweds. Instead I see these photos and think wow…. this was just the beginning for us. The layers of love and trust has quadrupled and now we get to share it with our children. Feeling all that has manifested the last ten years is overwhelming and joyful. We honestly didn’t think we could love more, but it’s happened.

It wasn’t until I met Rachel and Ian where my feelings on photographing weddings changed. When I saw Ian and Rachel for the first time as a couple I realized they are a couple truly in love. I was able to grab some snapshots of them sharing these feelings that Chris and I still now share- at the time I thought, “Wow! They get to go on a wonderful journey together as husband and wife. They too will get to experience greater trust, and love from which a life together will be built around that.”

I guess I was silly to think I could never be able to relate to newlyweds. Instead, I get to celebrate what is yet to come for them and feel so lucky to document the beginning.

To all married couples… congratulations to you. Stay honest with yourselves and one another. Be kind and learn how to communicate and don’t pass judgement. Instead, nurture your trust and respect it. Respect one another and remember to show love. And if you can’t do any of this… then move on.

To my husband Chris, happy anniversary mi amor. Thank you for my morning coffee, for warming up my feet and loving all me. Thank you for my beautiful children and for supporting all I do in life. Thank you for never judging or speaking ill of me, for respecting me and for keeping promises. I love you so much my love.