Just ’Cause You See It Don’t Mean That It’s Real (Day 6 of 40)

Hollywood is an interesting game indeed. Let me stay away from detail, but I’ll go on the record to say that there is an element of elaborate charades within the film industry that I can’t embrace. Just because you see it, on the big screen, doesn’t mean that it’s real.

The strange thing is that I see Hollywood in my every-day life. Not only is it present here in California, but I bare witness to the same energy globally, and it brings me to question why it is that the surface level rhetoric becomes a subject of regularity for so many? Is that where any of us really find fulfilment? What drives a person to search to create a mirage of character beyond their own being, let alone causing them to fail to identify with self? It’s the sort of feeling I have when one is exploiting my kindness for weakness; you attempt to make a mockery of a situation and only later realize that you may have been the fool all along. Maybe I am the fool? Let’s put it in perspective: social constructs and standards, fashion, class, and all the extra. These are all things I see reflected from the thick convex lenses of drones analyzing their pray, or their competition, or otherwise. It may amount from a lack of security they find in self? It may come from something far more insincere than self-evaluation. Perhaps they’re grounded in the idea of maluability. Who needs sheeps clothing in a game of wolves?

I prefer not to dance amongst the heard of sheep, even when the predators may be distracted. I don’t really see the value in praying upon the weak either, however. Is sacrifice the only absolution we have, in this exploitive web of relationships? What effect does patriarchy play in the whole big picture? The dynamic of control is a construct that seems inescapable. I purged a lot of negativity within my experiences of ethical-non-monogamy, but it really opened up enough space for a breath of fresh air from those outside of my romantic life. Professionally and even interpersonally connections seem to follow this invisible standard set by the premise of illusions. It seems as if these self-proclaimed gates-keepers relly solidify the locks to their own shackles. In all of my life I haven’t met anyone far more miserable. It’s interesting, to say the very least, how many work so hard to maintain an image of success, but forget what it means to succeed in the first place. How do you define success? I’ve always said what I want to be above all else is happy, but of what is happiness? I mean really, what is the meaning of happiness?

I don’t really have a lot of answers to provide today as insight. Questions are often more valuable. Ask yourself “what determines my happiness,” tonight, and don’t fake yourself out. There’s a little Hollywood in all of us but keep it out of your happiness.