Talk with a baby

Luis A. Monroy

March 23rd, 2016

Looney Views

6:13pm

  • Talk with a baby

“What’s going on little guy…”

This human is funny looking but seems like a cool guy.

“Must be nice to just lay around all day, I use to do the same”

W,w,w,wait a minute, use to? What the fuck you mean use to, the life I’ve been promised up until now has been all sunshine and rainbows buddy, don’t be raining down all over my parade with your negativity bro, you can keep that shit over there.

“But then you grow up, mom and dad are gone and then you got to get a job.”

Mom and dad are gone? They’ve never been away, I been on this earth all my life and they’ve never been away and a job? What is this job you speak of and why do I have to get one? Why do I have to get one after they’re gone, do they have jobs? What’s going here?

“It’s all about money little fella, you know what, I know you can’t understand me so I’m going to just vent with yah you mind?”

Don’t be getting all sentimental on me now pal, I don’t care for this money stuff. I ate, I done pooped, I’m in a happy place right now, don’t ruin it.

“Cool…okay here it goes.”

He’s gonna ruin it.

“You see money is this thing that use to have value.”

I’m almost asleep already.

“One piece of paper which is a dollar was equivalent to 1 piece of gold. You could give one dollar and get in return one piece of gold.”

Yeah I know what gold is, mommy has shiny gold earrings, I love ripping those shiny shits clean off. She makes a cool loud noise every time. I love that lady, it’s like she knows I love that sound because she makes it every time I pull them.

“Now the dollar your mommy and daddy make today can never get exchanged for gold.”

I just finished telling you that my mommy has that gold stuff so she must have done the dollar thing you were just saying.

“It use to be just one, now its takes hundreds or even thousands to get a piece of gold.”

Huh? You’re a confused man, I can tell already. It use to cost just one to get a piece of gold and now its thousands? Either you’re 100% wrong, or everyone is fucking up. I’ll be the first to say it, I’m a baby, I don’t care about what others think yet.

“Either way, they made it that way so we have to work all the time to afford basic things. 10 pieces of paper at some point would last someone a week and now 10 of these things can barely get you breakfast.”

Okay, you’re going to have to be a little more specific here pal, yah got my attention.

“Then our whole life growing up is already decided for us. You’re a boy, you’re a girl, this is blue is this pink, this is right this is wrong. Never has someone stopped to ask ‘what do you think this should be called, we call it a car because

We can trace it back to sanskrit: char 
 : to move 
 Latin: carrus(masc.sing.), carrum(neuter,sing.) 
 : probably derived from ‘currere’ which means to run 
 Late Latin: carra 
 : plural form of carrum 
 Italian: carro 
 Spanish: carro 
 Provencal: car, char 
 Danish: karre 
 Swedish: karra 
 Middle Dutch: carre 
 Dutch: kar (feminine) 
 Old Celtic: karros, karrom 
 Bretonic: karr 
 Manx: carr 
 Old Welsh: carr 
 Welsh: ca’r 
 Old High German: charra 
 German: karre 
 Old North French: carre 
 French: char 
 Middle English: char, carre 
 Modern English: car… I got that answer from a google search but that’s why I agree with calling it a car, do you have any other ideas?’”

So you’re telling me that I automatically have to agree to what ideas are already out there? I won’t have a choice?

“You wont have a choice buddy, when most people agree or just don’t care, the people who play the game will do what ever they want especially since no one cares and no one’s looking.”

No! we have to stop those people, I want to have a say in everything, I’m a champion all the other guys in the delivery room were champions all coming from their own worlds and we agreed to conquer this one! I was just born but I know we can! Do you know how many other swimmers I outswam in mom? Millions and I won! Do you know how long I was in mom’s stomach? 9 months buddy, count’em, nine! I’m a soldier, I’m ready for anything this life has to offer, this is basically level 3 for me, I’m a pro at surviving!

“I wish more people stayed like you, obviously we all have to grow up but I wish we wouldn’t down you guys with all the harsh facts of reality so early on. It’s not all that bad, most of it is but it’s not all that bad. What makes it not that bad little buddy, is that there’s people out there, like me, who are fighting everyday to make sure little guys like you will have a voice in the future and you will be heard. The only things is, is that there not many of my kind, and the world is overpopulated with the ones who don’t care or worse, the ones that know and make a choice to let people around the world get bullied without a voice.”

Sheesh, talk about harsh facts, you know what buddy, as soon as I can walk and talk, we gone have to go for a walk… and talk… I thought you were crazy at first but when I stopped to listen, I realized, you’re only somewhat crazy but even as a baby I can see that being a little bit of crazy is necessary in this world. I believe in you man, I hope you and other people get together to handle that money thing, because my mommy was telling me all about animals and it seems like I probably won’t see a lot of the ones she wants me to see when I’m older. Is there a problem with animals, if so, who’s handling that problem?

“You’re parents are back, see yah around kid.”

Wait, where yah going, come back!

-“Hiiiii baby, goo-goo-ga-ga, huh? Goo-goo-ga-ga, right?”

You got to be fucking kidding me.

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