Are you too agreeable in an effort to be liked at work?

Are you too agreeable? A people pleaser? Too accommodating? Non-committal? Sugarcoating? Avoiding?

Of course we’re all not going to like each other at work. Let’s set that expectation. What I mean by “being agreeable to be liked” is avoiding the tough conversations for the need of being liked (people pleasing). This stems from a personal insecurity and is also a social norm for us in the US. How often are you not sure if someone is being genuine with you or are you wondering if they are just spewing what they think you want to hear? People pick up on this and it erodes trust.

I’m not condoning that we say everything that’s on our mind. I am encouraging effective, tactful, confident communication with empathy and compassion — both in our personal lives and in the workplace. I’m condoning speaking from the heart. This is a complex skill that needs to be continuously developed and practiced. Let’s reduce the amount of B.S. and politics that we have to sift through in this information-overloaded over-stimulated environment and create deep, meaningful human connections with each other.

I tend to navigate toward people who exhibit genuine honesty, a strong sense of who they are and what they want, and people who aren’t afraid to be themselves. Usually, these are the people who set an example for others and who live by the mentality ask for forgiveness rather than permission. They are doers; they are steadfast in who they are, confident in their decisions, and their time is too valuable to play games.

In my experience, the corporate workplace is NOT like this. It’s full of people with their “work personas” — playing politics & games, tip toeing around, pushing personal agendas, being scared to make decisions, with power, ego, and greed running the show. It’s exhausting. This type of environment screams inefficiency; so much time is wasted on this nonsense and trying to figure out if people mean what they say.

This article originally appeared on Amber’s blog.

Amber Waugaman provides crucial leadership development for leaders & employees. She partners with your organization to develop highly-effective and high-performing leaders. As a society, we set leaders up to fail because we promote them into people management positions without providing them with the training, skills, tools, resources, and ongoing development that is necessary to be a high-performing leader.

Amber provides Executive Coaching in organizations in order to help them thrive. If you’d like to pursue Executive Coaching for your team or organization, contact Amber. Find more information on her website.

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