First Date(s) After a Breakup

When you’re an emotional person like me who puts a lot into relationships, going through breakups are very difficult. When someone treats you poorly and deceives you after you’ve trusted them, it’s hard. It’s especially hard to think about moving on.


Recently I decided to let someone in and go on a date with a friend, while out of town. I was nervous and I didn’t know what to expect. My breakup wasn’t at the front of my mind, but I was certainly aware of the recent hurt.

From the second we embraced initially upon meeting to getting dropped off, my heart was racing. I had butterflies and the chemistry was so strong, it made my stomach tight. He looked at me and embraced my beauty, but listened to me and was interested in what I had to say.

The chemistry was so overpowering that I almost regretted telling him preemptively I wasn’t ready to really start dating yet or even to be kissed. By the end of the date, we hadn’t even kissed, but I felt closer to him than I had anyone in quite some time. I felt beautiful and interesting and at the same time, had learned quite a bit about him. We were honest and vulnerable with one another.

I felt satisfied by the way he was surprised by my intelligence and knowledge. I felt respected and cared for. I realized that the death of my last relationship was a good thing and didn’t mean I could never trust again.

Getting back after the date, I was wired. I couldn’t stop thinking about the strengthened connection and chemistry. There was no way I could leave and not see him again. He felt the same. We decided to have a second date.

The second he hugged me and opened the car door for me, I realized the chemistry was still palpable and every little glance and slightest touch had a deeper meaning. We held hands like I did when I was in school and was much more innocent. Simply holding and stroking his hand with mine was incredibly exciting.

It had been so long since I was with a man who didn’t pressure me for more than I was comfortable with or ready for. The connection between us is electric and the urge to give into temptation was so strong, but he was respectful. Kind. Loving.

We fell asleep together without sleeping together and yet it was so intimate. He showed incredible restraint and proved that there can be an exception to the rule. He looked me in the eyes and told me I was beautiful and meant it.

I learned a valuable lesson and that’s to be careful with who you trust, but also to embrace the experiences you have in life. The unexpected can be so rewarding.

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