Expiration date: 30 years old!
I think I stopped celebrating birthdays after my 18th one. I think I that point I had figured that not only am I legally responsible for everything I do (except binge drinking of course) but It’s my ticket to the outside world to start making my life HAPPEN!
Maybe that’s why I am aging backwards according to my relatives. I still get asked for an idea whenever I buy wine at the liquor store. #Nojoke
30 years old happened just like any other birthdays after my 18th one, in my head it was just another number, another year, things to accomplish and challenges to face. I really had no specific idea what that whole pressure was about or where it was going to come from. Turns out that turning 30 is one these life milestones that everyone has an opinion about.
I come from a very patriarchal culture! A culture that praises its women, encourage them to get education, work, get into business and STILL a culture that pressure them to always have a male lead in their life. In the form a father then a brother, an uncle and eventually a husband.
I don’t think I’ll ever make sense out of it; I’m no hardcore feminist but I’ve seen many situations, where a woman, single-handedly, managed to keep an entire family together by herself with and without the presence of a leading male.
Turning 30 is a milestone in any woman’s life, and it can be a source of considerable anxiety. The impending transition from your (supposedly) youthful and carefree 20s, to your more “adult” 30s will be overwhelming. For me there was this apparent list that every woman has to know and with bullet points to cross, main one being:
· Finished university with a graduate degree (preferably)
· Being married or in a long-term committed relationship
· Have 1 kid and planning the second one if it’s not already on the way
· Having a good, sustainable job or company to run
Yup stakes are VERY HIGH!
I still remember when me and my friends were just counting the years, during our lunch breaks in junior high thinking how far away that future was “We’re gonna be 18 in 2003, 21 in 2006, and 30 in 2015!” We thought about aging, physically but nobody ever really spoke about what we would be doing with our lives in this so distant future. I think I’ve accomplished 2 out the 4 of these meaningless bullets. Meaningless because as I turned 30 I started to realize that this path is idealistic, utopist and that the reality is far more interesting.
No I’m not married or have kids yet; of course it is something that I really want and hopefully I will have it in a near future but instead of focusing on the timetables and how fast my biological clock is ticking I think I will take a moment to list the things that I think I should have accomplished by the time they’re 30.
1. Get a driver’s license
2. Try going vegetarian
3. Start a small business in something you are passionate about
4. Not be afraid to speak he words you actually feel- if you love somebody, just jump up the rope and tell them
5. You day-to-day job has to have something to do with what you are passionate about, others wise it’s just a mean to a sad end: pay bills and taxes!
6. Decorate the space you live in to your taste and not some Pinterest vision board (sorry Pinterest is actually a good source of inspiration)
7. Travel alone
8. Do your won mani-pedi at home
9. Set up a viable budget for your weekly spending and savings
10. Move to another country even if it’s just temporary
11. Not care about what people say of think about you … Not give a flying F***
12. Travel to somewhere exotic
13. Try food that make you squirm
14. Learn to prepare cocktails
15. Make sure you and your parents have become best buds
16. Learn to speak a new language
17. Taka class that’s totally out of your element (pottery, improve, ballet…)
18. Stay TRUE to yourself, do things because you want them
19. Read poetry books and fall in love with words
20. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and anyone who hurt you
21. Nurture your friendships
22. Surround yourself with like-minded people! The company who keep at this stage in your life is primordial as it will either lift you up or make you crash
23. Spread HONESTY, breathe HONESTY with yourself and demand it from others
24. Did I mention? COOK! For yourself and occasionally have friends over for dinner and cook them something special.
25. FAIL: yes! I said it! I encourage anyone to fail and learn to pick yourself back up as fast as possible.
26. Network! From time to time if you are a loner.
27. Go on dates; and don’t settle for the same old dating routines (movies, restaurant, bar, clubs etc.…) how about going to the opera on a first date? Paint-ball? A walk downtown? A lecture even? Anything that both you and Mr. or Mrs. have a taste for or want to discover!
28. Use social media to BUILD YOUR BRAND not to vent about your woes, your highs and your lows
29. LOVE YOUSELF UNCONDITIONALLY, FULLY AND TRULY
30. BE OPEN AND READY FOR WHATEVER THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR YOU
Again this my list! I encourage everyone to have their own! I can say that I have accomplished 85% of the things that I listed here and still working on crossing off some more! Bottom line is: do not compare your chapter 10 to someone else’s chapter 25, it never was a race to begin with. Enjoy yours and work on finding your purpose.