October 19, Wednesday.
*Alarm buzzes* I have to work today, fuck…
There is nothing worse than having to wake up, dreading what is to come. Knowing that you have to endure hours of either boredom and monotony, or stress and mental exhaustion for something that you couldn’t care less about.
Work, it’s something we all must face in time. You can run and avoid it for as long as possible, and I recommend you do, but work will find you and torture you.
Whether you work due to financial obligation, parental obligation or social obligation, it’s always an obligation that gets you.
When you’re young this obligation is small and really doesn’t matter. You’ll work here or there because your parents want you to learn the meaning of an honest day’s work or maybe because it’s nice to have a little bit of change in your pocket. You don’t really mind working because otherwise you might have spent your time watching tv, playing video games or doing some other bullshit activity.
But now, you’re sixteen, seventeen, maybe eighteen and its 9:33 in the morning. You have already slept through two alarms and have work in a little less than an hour. It only takes fifteen minutes to get there. So, you have forty-two minutes to wake up, get in the mindset of having to adhere to someone else’s rules and agenda, get dressed, eat something and head out the door. If you are a youthful and ambitious person and are excited for what you do, this isn’t so hard.
Sure, work is filled with dumb people that you wouldn’t have ever been able to fathom their existence before working there; however, their are some benefits, such as money, friends and even a feeling of accomplishment, but here you are. Helping some foreign couple understand the English written out in front of them, only to find out that they are from Wisconsin. Not only that, this isn’t a one time thing.
This is an everyday thing; yet, you can still wake up every morning and get yourself to this shit-hole of a job if your excited about the company, your friends or even the money.
Now let’s take away the novelty of your not so new job. You have been working there for about four months now. You no longer get the feeling that you have just been punched square in the stomach, thinking about work. You wake up about five minutes before your now, 8 A.M. alarm because your body has become accustomed to waking up at this time. You lie in bed waiting for the piercing buzz from hell to meet with you. You have a little bit of money saved up. You’re mentally exhausted. You have been walking into work only to check out and send your thoughts somewhere else for eight hours. Your friends, which you have been pushing off and neglecting to go work, are all meeting up to spend the day in Central Park, only to go to a party tonight. You think to yourself for a quick moment. I might miss the day at the park, but maybe I could go to the party and meet up with everyone.
*Alarms buzzes* You press snooze.
It dawns on you, you have to be up for 6 A.M. count tomorrow. fuck…
It’s the fact that the day filled with so much more potential than your job currently has to offer. It’s the fact that you can no longer just do what you want and have this obligation to something you have no control over. It’s the fact that you are no longer excited to wake up and start your day.
When you are excited the negative parts feel so much smaller and less significant. When you’re tired and not into it, these problems feel like the most important thing in the world. You start to believe that if these negatives were just a little less apparent or if your manager was just a little less demanding you wouldn’t mind going into work everyday.
Until those issues are mended and you find new reasons to complain.
You realize that you hate your job and there isn’t much you can do about it. You’re young; you have obligations and you dream of a future where you are in control. You believe or rather force yourself to believe that if you stick with this long enough you’ll wait until something better comes around and you’ll leave and never look back. You’ll do something that challenges you and excites you and uses your talents and passions to make you shit tons of money. You believe that it’s all going to be worth the pain and struggle. Because the alternative is waking up and feeling numb. Feeling like nothing matters and that you are just another cog in the machine.
But what if it doesn’t get better. What if you wake up after four months at your no longer ‘new’ new job and you feel the same. The cycle tends to loop…
*The alarm buzzes* I have to work today, fuck…