Alt Facts: The afternoon science died a little.

Aide: “Sir, here is the stack of reports from the E.P.A. and the U.S.D.A. for your approval before we send them out to scientific journals and media outlets.”

Trump: “Give ’em here.”

Aide: “Sir, this first one is about — “

Trump: “Just give ’em all here.”

Aide: “But sir, they’re about…science.”

Trump taps his desk. “Right here.”

The aide makes two neat stacks and takes a step back. Trump opens the first one and starts to read, then closes it.

Trump: “ Okay, never mind, you read to me what they’re about.”

Aide: “This first one is titled, ‘Efforts to quantify particulates in air quality for population centers greater than 100,000.”

Trump: “I only heard some of that. Shorten it.”

Aide: “Quantifying particulates in larger cities.”

Trump: “Shorter.”

Aide: “Particulates in cities?”

Trump: “Just read me the longest word.”

Aide: “Particulates?”

Trump: “I don’t like that word. Just read me the fourth word of every title.”

Aide: “ Particulates.”

Trump: “Fifth word.”

Aide: “In.”

Trump: “Now we’re talking. ‘In,’ huh? I’ll say…denied. I don’t like ‘in.’ It sounds trendy, and trendy didn’t make American great. Next.”

Aide: “It’s a three word title.”

Trump: “Approved. I like brevity. Next.”

The portrait of Andrew Jackson appears to weep.