Although He Still May Not Know It, James Comey Was Fired Over Hookers

A lightbulb went off when I heard former FBI head James Comey describe not wanting to be perceived as “J. Edgar Hoover,” with the ability to hold the Steele dossier’s salacious allegations over Donald Trump’s head.

It’s the Russian-hooker-golden-shower allegations that have been driving Trump especially insane. That’s what he really cares about in all of this.

Is that rational? Of course not. But neither is he.

Trump’s goal, as described in Comey’s prepared remarks describing their meetings and phone calls, was to force a public declaration that he was not being “personally investigated.” This was further shown in his May 9 termination letter to Comey, which self-servingly claims Comey had told him three times he was not being “personally investigated.”

Comey, as stated in his remarks, took Trump to mean he was asking if there was an individual counterintelligence investigation, which, because it would try to determine the “sources and methods” used by foreign agents, would have to look into the actions of Trump as an individual, like whether he paid hookers to pee on each other in Moscow.

That’s close. I think that by “personally investigated,” Trump meant investigations into his personal life in general.

More specifically, he wanted Comey to make a public statement that the Steele memo allegations about his personal life were not credible. (He asked DNI Clapper to do the same.)

By “loyalty,” he was probably hoping for a promise from Comey that Comey, unlike J. Edgar Hoover, would stay out of the President’s personal life. But Comey may not even have understood what he was getting at.

Why did Trump want a public statement from the head of the FBI that nothing happened in 2013 between him and hookers in Russia?


His wife, Melania, who knows he is a liar and adulterer; who has caught him cheating before; and who has been avoiding him and continuously looking like she hopes he chokes to death on a chicken wing since January, the month she became First Lady, and also the month the Steele memo finally leaked.

I’m guessing at some point she issued a “no more cheating or I’m out” ultimatum to him, and the consequences are bad. And whether or not the allegations are true, from January onwards, she thought they were, and she was PISSED.

Is that something that would be in the forefront of Trump’s mind for months? Imagine you’re an aging male narcissist who suddenly became the most powerful man in the world, but you cannot use that fact to get laid because you’re under too much scrutiny to commit adultery and the one hot woman you’re actually allowed to have sex with would rather throw herself out of Marine One, all due to some sketchy allegations about something you didn’t or maybe did do in a foreign country years and years and years ago…

The “Melania‘s Pissed” Timeline

December 1–2, 2016: Kushner, with Flynn, meets with Russian ambassador, proposes “secure channel” to Moscow using Russian diplomatic communications equipment.

December 29: Obama administration issues sanctions against Russia for election interference. Flynn recorded speaking with Russian ambassador, assuring him Trump administration will re-evaluate sanctions once in office.

December 30: Putin announces Russia will not retaliate, will wait before “any further steps.” Trump tweets “Great move… very smart!”

January 6, 2017: Comey’s first in-person meeting with Trump. Tells him about existence of Steele dossier and meets with Trump one-on-one to describe “personally sensitive aspects of the information assembled.” The material in question is “salacious and unverified” but “we [the Intelligence Community leadership] knew the media was about to publicly report the material.”

January 10: Buzzfeed publishes Steele dossier in its entirety. Trump tweets that night: “FAKE NEWS — A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!” CNN reports that Trump was given a “two-page summary of the dossier.”

The dossier’s primary salacious allegation is that Trump had been involved in “employing a number of prostitutes to perform a ‘golden showers’ show in front of him” at the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow sometime around 2013. (Note that Trump could still argue this account is “fake” if any of the details are wrong: if he did not pay the prostitutes personally; if there was only one prostitute; if it happened at a diferent hotel; et cetera).

The other “salacious” allegations: that Trump’s “unorthodox behavior in Russia over the years had provided the authorities with… embarrassing material” and that Trump had “the use of extensive sexual services from local prostitutes” in St. Petersburg and Moscow in the past (news reports indicate Trump took this trip in the late 1980s). There is “plenty of kompromat” on Trump but the Kremlin has given its word not to use it “given how helpful and co-operative his team had been… particularly of late.”

January 11: Trump’s morning tweets include:

“Russia has never tried to use leverage over me. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA — NO DEALS, NO LOANS, NO NOTHING!”
“Intelligence agencies should never have allowed this fake news to ‘leak’ into the public. One last shot at me. Are we living in Nazi Germany?”

At his first official press conference the same day, Trump’s comments include, “Be very careful, because in your hotel rooms and no matter where you go you’re going to probably have cameras,” and “I’m also very much of a germaphobe, by the way, believe me.”

Per interview given June 6, DNI Clapper says when he phones Trump on January 11 to challenge the “Nazi” comment, “ever transactional, he simply asked me to publicly refute the infamous ‘dossier,’ which I could not and would not do.”

Later that night, DNI Clapper releases statement which mentions “the private security company document” and states “the IC has not made any judgment that the information in this document is reliable[.]”

January 12: Next morning, Trump tweets claim that Clapper called him “to denounce the false and fictitious report that was illegally circulated.” According to Clapper, then and now, this is not true. Trump does not acknowledge that the dossier had circulated in Washington, DC political circles for months prior.

January 19: Trump attorney Michael Cohen leaves Trump Organization to become Trump’s personal attorney.

January 20: Inauguration. Melania appears distraught, miserable. Afterwards, the new First Lady returns to New York.

January 27: Trump hosts intimate two-person dinner for Comey at White House. Returning to “the salacious material” first discussed on Jan. 6, Trump expresses “disgust for the allegations,” strongly denies them, says he’s considered ordering Comey to “prove it didn’t happen,” tells Comey, “I need loyalty.”

Late January: Per Comey testimony on June 8, Trump calls him on the phone to complain about the Steele dossier.

Late January: Incoming Trump administration unsuccessfully attempts to quickly lift all sanctions against Russia, both re: Ukraine and re: election hacking.

Late January: Flynn and Trump attorney Michael Cohen meet with Ukrainian opposition politician in New York. Cohen receives “sealed envelope” he delivers to Flynn in early February.

February 3: Trump and Melania both arrive at Mar-a-Lago. The First Lady has not been in the same location as the President for two weeks.

Early February: US Magazine cover story claims Melania hates being First Lady specifically and being married to Donald generally.

Early February: Press reports that Melania will never move into White House.

February 13: Trump reluctantly fires Flynn.

February 14: Trump keeps Comey alone after meeting. Says Flynn “hadn’t done anything wrong,” “let this go.” It’s Valentine’s Day. Melania is not in Washington, DC. Is Trump talking about Flynn or himself?

February 15: The First Lady waits until the day after Valentine’s Day to set foot in Washington, DC for only the second time in the first three weeks of her tenure.

March 25: Melania spends weekend at Mar-a-Lago without Trump.

March 30: Trump to Comey again: “no hookers in Russia,” “lift the cloud.”

April 11: Trump to Comey again, two days before leaving for long weekend with wife: help “get the fact out” that there is “no personal investigation.”

April 13: Trump and Melania go to Mar-a-Lago for Easter.

April 17: Both back in DC for Easter Egg Roll.

April 24: Rex Tillerson tells Ukrainian president the US will not lift sanctions until Russia returns Crimea to Ukraine.

May 9: Trump fires Comey, shoehorning into his termination letter that Comey supposedly assured him three times there was no personal investigation.

May 15: Melania spends Mother’s Day in New York. The father of her only child plays golf in DC.

May 17: Trump tells visiting Russian diplomats that Comey was “crazy,” a “nut job,” and that firing him had relieved “pressure” on his administration regarding Russia.

June 1: A week before Comey’s scheduled testimony, Trump administration tries again to unilaterally lift December sanctions against Russia re: seized diplomatic compounds.

Trump’s Libidinal Paranoia: A Theory

Trump has seemed unconcerned to the point of disinterest about shocking allegations of fraud, bribery, espionage, etc involving his campaign staff, but VERY VERY CONCERNED about his inability to publicly debunk rumors of hiring hookers.

Trump may not know whether video, photos, etc of him with Russian hookers actually exist. But if you tell someone “I’m very very concerned I’m going to be blackmailed with some recent photos of me with some hookers,” you’ve admitted to adultery at the very least. Trump’s motley crew of Russia liaisons are probably the people in his campaign to whom Trump has indicated something about the allegations which would at the very least confirm his adultery.

Flynn et al. were probably at work trying to get quasi-legitimate-seeming meetings set up so Trump staff could ask, “By the way, do you guys really happen to have any hooker tapes of Trump? And if so, how do we buy them back?” He didn’t want to fire Flynn because he’d learned about the principle of executive privilege and thought as long as Flynn worked for him, Flynn could legally be prevented from dishing dirt.

After firing Flynn, Trump didn’t have second thoughts because Flynn is a “good guy”; he had them because he was afraid he could no longer keep Flynn from blabbing what he knew. And who knew exactly what Flynn received in that sealed envelope at the “Ukraine peace plan” meeting?

The other two individuals primarily involved — Cohen and Sessions — are lawyers. Trump probably sought legal advice from them about the kompromat miasma because he knew the communications would be protected by attorney-client privilege. This meant that Sessions had to recuse himself from any Russia investigation later on, not just because he’d met with the Russian ambassador, making him a potential fact witness, but because Trump had probably crossed the line at some point into seeking legal advice from Sessions, meaning Sessions had a conflict of interest between his current client the United States of America and his former client Trump. Not recusing himself could lead to disbarment. Trump probably didn’t see that coming.

Based on the timing, Trump probably had some sort of tacit deal with the Russians about something or other that he wouldn’t be able to deliver on until he became President in late January, and he’d been told there was kompromat on him but as long as he stayed at the bargaining table it would remain in Russia. Then Obama hit the Russians with sanctions, shuttering their dachas. Trump freaks. When Putin says no retaliation “yet,” Trump sighs in relief.

A week later, Comey is informing Trump that kompromat is about to hit the US news media. Trump concludes that the Russians are punishing him for Obama’s sanctions, despite the fact that he can’t do anything about them yet. It’s a shot across the bow. His paranoia worsens.

He hires Michael Cohen directly to ensure attorney-client privilege and gives him the task of telling the Russians, “We’ll lift your Ukraine sanctions. Just fork over the Trump video or photos or whatever, assuming they exist.” Russians respond: yeah, well, we’re going to hold off until you get the sanctions lifted.

Trump remains frightened, but mostly just extremely sexually frustrated, because he has the #1 no-hiring-prostitutes-allowed job in America, and his wife will never touch him again. Unless he can somehow prove he didn’t do the stuff he may or may not have done. What’s the good of having intelligence operatives if they can’t do that for you? (And really, how concerned would he be about videos from 1987, two wives ago? It has to be something of more recent vintage.)

When he tells the Russians in May after firing Comey, “the pressure is off,” he’s probably saying, “Look, I will lift the sanctions ASAP, please give me a little more time.”

The recent, desperate effort since that May meeting to seize any window of opportunity to do something unilateral for Russia suggests the Trump administration was trying to signal to the Russians, “We will honor the deal! We just need some more time for this political stuff to blow over! Comey is gone! Hold off the UrineLeaks just a little longer!”

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