Sorry For The Wait

The Catch Up

It’s been quite a long time since I've written something. I apologize for that. Part of the blame goes to my busy life ever since the semester ended for the summer, and part of it has to do with the fact that no one really cares or probably reads what I have to say. I've missed writing though and so now I’m back and let me catch you up to speed

The semester ended on a good note. I had good grades, a nice internship lined up and a great GPA. Fast forward to the present, and I’m without the internship. Not to worry, I wasn't fired. I merely resigned. I wasn't getting paid like I should and it started to take a toll on me. Driving over 100 miles everyday aimlessly trying to sell an idea that I never bought into fully will eventually bore and tire the shit out of you. Since I've resigned, I've had a slew 0f interviews, some successful, some not so successful. I had a successful interview with a company called New England insights. They help huge fortune 500 companies advertise and market. This interview is a 3 step process, and Monday will be my last step. I hope I get the job. I would be making over 300 dollars a week plus commission so I would have enough money for my senior year of university next semester.

As great as the summer has been, my thoughts have gotten louder and louder and the relationship between me and my parents has become strained. Lately its been a lot of bickering and questioning my life choices. I hardly eat anymore and im out of the house which annoys them. They didn't appreciate me resigning from my job and they didn't appreciate me asking them for money for the time being. I've made it a rule to stop asking them for favors because financially they are completely fucked. If you've been following my writings, the goal is to be independent and be on my own, and everyday I wake up and look in the mirror, I realize I’m getting closer and closer to achieving that purpose for my life. My parents blame my lack of interest in Christianity for the shortcomings in my life, and they are honestly entitled to their opinion. My opinion is that if God really cared, he would either make shit better, or put me out of my misery, and he hasn't done either, so there you have it. It’s all up to me from here on out. Give me 5 years, and I might be an atheist, but who the fuck knows?

Like I said, my thoughts have been louder and louder. My thoughts all have to do with my future. I know what I want to do after I graduate next year and where I want to be. If I follow the path, I’ll be successful and rich before im at least 30. Sometimes uncertainty creeps in and that is what is contributing to the magnitude of my thoughts. I wish I could take a break from having thoughts run laps around my mind and just allow life to take me on the ride of my life. I guess that’s why I love weed. When i smoke, I don’t think and nothing matters except for the moment in the here and now. I’m working on my image and presentation to battle those thoughts. I’m listening to a lot of new music and reading a lot of books. I’ve also made it a habit of running every morning just to refresh my body, mind and soul before the day begins for me. I want to be a different person, completely. I don’t know how that will happen but I will definitely will it to fruition.

That’s basically been my summer so far.

How can I forget the world cup ?!?

The world cup has been on my mind 24/7 since it started mainly because all my picks to win have been dead wrong, but that is the beauty and the excitement of the world cup

I promise I’ll be more frequent with my writings, even the audience shrinks to the writer alone.

I’ll end with this observation.

People always told me that dreams are a result of the thoughts that you had during the day and before your eyes closed and drifted off into oblivion. For me, that is never the case. My dreams have always been a way to foreshadow or predict what would happen when I would wake up the next day. A couple years ago, I had a dream that me and my brother were playing checkers, and I beat him and all of a sudden, he pulled out a spear and killed me with it. The next day, we had a big fight. I always thought it was mere coincidence and maybe it all is but last night was just freaky because it happened again. Last night I had a series of dreams, and I woke up at 4am and again at 8am. I wouldn't be able to tell you all the dreams because I only remember one. I had a dream that I walked out of my parents house while everyone was sleeping. The sky was dark and the streets were deserted and the back-story consisted of an Apocalypse style disaster raging through greater Boston. I walked into an abandoned stadium and in that stadium was a food court. Someone told me to run to the food court. I proceeded to do so, and I sat down in a chair. I was surrounded by people and a few zombies( I shit you not, actual zombies). I looked up and saw my dad walking towards the food court. I didn't want to be seen, so i slowly slouched in my seat, and my dad, after pacing for 5 minutes, exited the stadium. Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned and it was one of my fraternity brothers. I got up and starting walking with him. Before I knew it , we weren't in the stadium anymore and he was gone. I found myself on a road that was torn up and filled with mud. I heard a voice , and i turned around and it was HER. I’m going to leave the name out of this for personal reasons. She walked up to me and was like Faith, I need more advice before I head off to college (in real life, she is actually headed off to college in new york). I smiled and said I already gave you advice. I then put my arm around her and was like follow my advice and you will do just fine. I then offered to walk her back to her house. She agreed. We then started walking. I noticed that we weren't getting dirty at all even though the roads were literally all mud and dirty water. She looked at me and said thanks for everything. I then took her hand and we walked back to her house holding hands. As we got in front of her house, I woke up.

Remember how I said my dreams are foreshadowing?

Me and HER ended up being in the same vicinity for more then 5 hours..and I never see her on a regular basis..ever

Dreams are weird aren't they?

live it up this summer, because I know I will and be yourself, and be independent.