Controlling My Eyes

Here I am, trying to gather my thoughts as I write the next best article I’ve ever written. 3 inch heels, fitted dress, dark long hair walks up to the counter, orders coffee. She glances across the room, holds eye contact for about three seconds, I smile, she smiles back, nice white teeth.

Thirty minutes before that was the fit girl. Remember her? The one with the navy blue dress pants, black shirt with “Pink” written on it. She looked nice, but seemed standoffish. Oh wow… Hello there good looking. Is this the new girl? Where’s that accent from? Look at her joyfully singing to whatever is playing on her headphones.

The wandering eyes. The short attention span. Qualities of an improving man.

I like women and while my friends joke that my perfect woman is a unicorn, anytime a lady who takes care of herself walks the room, my eyes notice.

It’s natural to notice a woman who embodies attractive traits. This is not an instinct you fight and it shouldn’t be a habit that controls you.

I get distracted quite easily and also by different things.

Someone walking behind me makes me turn around.

Someone picking their nose in traffic makes me look.

Someone admiring me from afar gets my attention.

Someone making hand gestures? I just can’t help it.

While passing a car, do you also get this urge to look at the other driver because you feel like they’re about to look at you? I still don’t know how I sense an incoming stare.

I thought about inventing an eye glass that blurs out the corner of the glasses, leaving a small clear frame to focus on what’s in front of me. Just like the blinders used for horse racing. I figured with the blurred corners I’d have less triggers to be distracted but that wouldn’t help much, the glasses would only be a temporary fix.

Deep down somewhere, I knew being easily distracted had more to do with me than the provocative appearances in front of me. I have to work on taking the power back, I would be a better man if I don’t gawk at every moving person or object.

Being honest, about 80% of the time I allow myself to be distracted, the distracting figure is not a rare sight. I also find that the recipe to controlling a wandering eye is quite simple, constant application however is the tough part — but it’s achievable.

First step to controlling the wandering eye is to just not look. You dont have to look. You really don’t. It’s natural to want to look but you really don’t have to look. Except of course if it’s someone walking with their head down and their legs up, or someone spitting fire from their mouth, you don’t want to miss those sights. The idea is not to suppress the urge to look or to fight the urge to look, you are just simply putting it in its place. Which leads to the next step: Know when and where to let your eyes wander. As you walk into a bar, good idea to gauge the potentials. When talking to your wife or someone you’re interested in, bad idea to gauge other potentials. When I’m being productive, bad idea to think “oh my gosh, Becky’’. When I’m at an event however, that would be the appropriate place to mingle.

Know the right environment.

Identify the distraction before looking at it.

Choose what you look at.

Identify when your curiosity starts to kick in.

A girl with a hot body? What did you expect? Women are naturally endowed with features men find attractive. It’s funny how I get surprised every time I see a girl with an attractive figure.

Remind yourself the distraction is nothing you haven’t seen before.

Everyday, time yourself, go 30 minutes controlling what you look at.

If you slip up, reset the timer. If you don’t slip up, congratulate yourself, take a break then time again.

Life is filled with distractions, a lot of people have that one distracting figure they can’t seem to shake, just like people who would rather walk into a pole than look up from their cell phone. I, on the other hand don’t feel bound to my phone, I can easily go a day or two with. . .“Wow, that is one cute little dog, it could easily fit in my shirt pocket, I bet it doesn’t shed!” oh wait, just lost my train of thought.

With Love,

Famous Steve.

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