Nosebleed Johnny Lets Go Big Time

Hi, My name is Johnny. My nose bleeds a lot, so I guess that’s how I got this stupid nickname. Uncle Fatty said I could do anything I want here, as long as I don’t bleed all over the screen. Well, what I want to do is sound off. You know, let it out, get angry, howl at the moon, start rumors, inspire fear and madness, plant turnips, cut the cheese. Ya know?
Here goes. Lemme know if you smell something.

I’m fed up and I’m not going to take it any more!
I’m tired of hearing Gene Roddenberry babble about “Space…the final frontier.” Nothing is final, and that’s final.

I’m sick of watching the Enterprise hop back and forth in time. How’d you like it if I wrote:

This is the first line of this story.
This is the second line.
This line demands you reread the preceding line.
This line admonishes the preceding line for such a childish trick.
This line takes strong issue with the preceding line’s admonishment, since the two lines preceding that one offer a simple demonstration of a strange loop.
This line, thank God, is the last line of this story.
This is the first line of this story.

(Apologies to David Moser)

I’m fed up with yogurt and the way it smells. Makes me wanta puke. And that goes for cottage cheese too. Dairy products from hell.

I’m sick of seein’ Hondas and Nissans and Toyotas. From now on I see one of those fuckers I’m gonna run ’em off the road. Buy American, Jackass!

I’m tuckered from intolerance.
I’m worn out with injustice.
I’m up to here with hate mongering.
I’ve had it with name calling.
I’m through with crusading.
I’m tired of my own self.
And I’m sick of you.

Have a nice day.

Postscript: You may be a winner.

Yeah, right!

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