Private Buys

Here on the net, it is a federal crime to molest an oyster.
It is against the law to bite a webmaster.
It is illegal to enter a chat group with a deadly weapon.
It is morally wrong to take a screen shot of a rabbit on any Sunday during the months of January, February, and March, unless you have a license.
And, it is against the law to wear a mask while cybershopping.

Sure, cybershopping can be confusing.
That’s why you should sign up today for Cap’n Fatty’s Private Buys — the first name in acquisition.
We have the time,
the patience,
and the resources to find,
and acquire,
anything.
So, join Private Buys right now.
It’s a major move up.
And throw away that mask.

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