Day 169 — Today is my late father’s birthday. I thought of him all day long. In meetings I caught myself day dreaming about good times and bad. About how the last time I ever saw him, he begged me for a kiss and I refused because I was in a hurry and being a petulant, bratty college student with too many more important things to do. I was mad and in a hurry. I’m embarrassed to even admit it. It is one of the biggest regrets of my life.
I told a colleague today about how my full blooded, Irish Catholic father made his patented honey and beer glazed ham for the evening when my parents were hosting a meet and greet with my now brother-in-law’s Jewish parents. Everyone sat in shocked disbelief, jaws fully dropped, eyes transfixed, as he ceremoniously carried his huge pork masterpiece into the dining room and placed it on the table. He popped a yarmulke on his head and said a prayer over the pig using some fake hebrew sounding words that sounded more like someone trying to cough up a fur ball. Thankfully for my sister pictured here, her boyfriend’s parents weren’t kosher. They cracked up. We moved on and ate. My mother had threatened him to not do it. But to no avail. I’m not quite sure what she was expecting from someone whose business cards said, “Honest Jimmy Duffy. The Working Girls Friend.”
I have those same cognitive dissonance issues in my life. Some actually benefit me. Some hurt me greatly. Ignorance can be bliss. Or take you out. The things in my life that are not working for me need to continue to be addressed. No turning a blind eye for ease and deferment of conflict. I have to stop turning a blind eye, or running after things that don’t matter. Staying present, in the now, looking to fully enjoy whatever moments I have on this earth is increasingly important. VERY important. I try not to leave the ones I love and not kiss them. Now you know why I may grab you and lay a big ‘ol smackaroo on your lips.
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