Home Will Always Be Where We Are Together
Day 268 — Today was tough. One more quick lunch with our son between his classes and then, like our daughter, a warm embrace intended to last…until we are together again.
We were talking about living in this new city and asked our son if he was feeling comfortable calling this city home. He shrugged his shoulders and confidently declared, “I’m getting there!” As if it was no problem. At. All. Worried that he was too happy, too easily transitioned OUT, which is a brutal thing for me to grasp, I couldn’t help but blurt out, “But our home will always be your real home!” He gave me a pity nod and a fake smile. OK. Fine! I’ll take that nod as full agreement. But what I am really coming to realize is…home will always be where we are together. And I’m sticking with that…since the four winds seem to be taking them everywhere else.
At some point during lunch I stopped and closed my eyes to try to embrace this moment in a positive way. Trying to take my stress response from the red to the green zone, as instructed by my coach, Bill Cortright. My son noticed and asked, “Are you ok?” I responded I was, “I’m just trying to remember this moment.” It was a simpler answer than the red/green zone answer. I was definitely sliding down a wormhole and trying to stop the fall.
As we bid adieu today he gave me his patented Crossfit death grip hug and gave me a big kiss. If I close my eyes right now I can feel it. He fell into his father’s embrace. Not unlike his sister did a few days before. I couldn’t resist the symmetry. And quickly snapped the photo.
My husband and I stayed pretty quiet the rest of the day. Our middle son welcomed us home. He’d gotten a buzz cut while we were out of town. Now his ridiculously handsome face and lovely eyes were wonderful to see. No unobstructed by any hair! OMG. And so it goes…
I unpacked my bags and found too many unused protein powder packs as evidence of planning, but failure to adhere 100%. Today, I fell apart, and off the wagon. A little. If I beat myself down about it…I’ll never get back up.
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