My #Lifesaver Crew…

Day 150 — I started the day standing on a main intersection holding up a huge poster featuring our beloved lost puppies. I am so profoundly saddened by their loss…I can barely react to the many posts from people so lovingly supporting us through this horrible tragedy. Today, the temptation to self sabotage was great. In fact, overwhelming. Yet, I had so much to be thankful for…

Tonight our daughter attended her Senior Prom. “The Glam Squad” arrived at our home and she had a ball getting all dolled up. She looked beautiful. One of her brothers, and her cousin have spent months teasing her mercilessly by insisting THEY were going to be her Prom date. She was consistently mortified by the thought and the taunt. For them, it was like fishing in a bucket and they derived great joy in making her miserable by threatening to threaten any guy who came near or dared to be her date. In the end, she tried to not tell ANY OF US where her prom was for fear they’d show up. Nor did she want any of us to come and take prom night photos. However, we were not going to be denied! In the end, her father, brother, cousin, and I even drove her there! Then we took countless photos with her, her friends, and her date. She tolerated our presence…barely. We loved it! Embarrassing her too.

Then off to pick up my brother for dinner. We sat down at the table and I checked my phone for any lost/found dog notifications. Nothing. Cue the Sound of Silence song by Simon and Garfunkle, “Hello darkness my old friend…”

Then my sister’s family sent a beautiful photo of her 6 month old granddaughter. The granddaughter she didn’t live to see. The granddaughter I held right after she was born…in her stead. The baby that reminded me I had fight to get my life back. I looked at the photo and smiled. I showed it to my brother and remarked, “Her eyes look like Mary’s!” Then the tears began to fall. In the middle of the restaurant. My nephew, son, and husband immediately reached out to hold me. I needed it. Truly. Then my brother set me straight with some serious wisdom. “Don’t cry for her. Be happy for her! Celebrate her! She was in so much pain. And now she is with her daughter, Missy!” (Our niece of blessed memory.)

My guys gave me everything they could in that moment. They held onto me, leaned over to kiss me, hugged me and held my hand through that moment. My brother never ceases to amaze me. I dried my tears, worked to regain my composure, and took a huge cleansing breath.

I had to take a photo to memorialize the moment. They are my #life-saver crew.

I continue to have much to be thankful for! I don’t think my dogs are hurt, and am thankful they are possibly in the arms of good samaritans tonight. I hope they recognize we’re heartbroken and will return them tomorrow.

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