Plus size no more…
Day 377 — I am plus size no more. Well. Pretty much. My belly is getting worked on as part of my fitness regime and I’m hoping it tightens up soon. It’s the only thing holding me in the upper regions of “normal” sizes. Well, that and perhaps my chest which impedes me while attempting jumping jacks. The wrong bra and bro! They will take out an eye.
So! I was at #Nordstroms and the plus size department there is just about the only one I can find some finer things to wear. The last time I shopped at this particular location was just over a year ago when both my sisters took me shopping for a new outfit. I was getting an award from the County Mayor as the Pioneer Woman of the Year during Women’s History Month.
They saw my “circus tarp-like” wardrobe choices and dragged me straight to Nordstroms. They were concerned when size 3X was looking a little tight. I promised them I would lose weight. They generously spent nearly $1,000 on outfits for me. All of those outfits came from the “Encore” plus size department. I loved each one. I loved my sisters for flying into town for my award, and for helping me feel special and less self-conscious. And now? Now I can’t wear them. Even the stretchy pants hang loose.
Today I walked through that very same department. There was not one thing for me there. I tried on a size 14 dress. And while I got it on, it was too tight across the belly. So I’m not completely in the clear.
For the first time in A VERY LONG TIME salespeople approached me in the regular size departments and asked if they could help — as opposed to directing me to the plus size department. Or asking me who I’m shopping for.
It was so odd. A surreal experience today. Looking at the size 3x items…they seemed…big. They “looked” big. And that is saying something coming from someone who can’t see the change in the mirror. Dysmorphia is so bizarre.
I said goodbye to the Encore department today. Out loud. It made me miss my sisters. The one who lives far away, and the other who passed away soon after that shopping trip. It was a lot to deal with and not talk about. I couldn’t talk about it. Even when I spoke to my sister tonight. The one in heaven already knew.
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