In no way did I blame society for anything.
Molly S. Hill

You’re the one that brought flippancy into in the conversation.

So, you didn’t mention society?

“but socialization also plays a huge part in the victimization of women (especially in Midwestern culture”

Let’s see…

Well, boy howdy, gosh darnit. The second definition of socialize, the root of socilization, and the form you were using, specifically mentioned society! Man! Isn’t that something?

To (teach) someone to behave in a way that is acceptable in society.

You mentioned midwestern culture as well, which is the culture of a particular society. So, yes, you were talking about society.

David, being an awful man, and being even worse, a white man, and being even worser, an old white man — he cannot to some degree understand what it is like to be a woman? So, straight up, fifty percent of all lived human experiences — he cannot understand them? And neither can I?

That’s really interesting.

Now, as a white woman, what do you know about being the son of a middle eastern immigrant? Turns out I happen to be one of those. And, despite my trump card in the oppression olympics, I maintain that you can know something of my experiences, of my siblings, of my father, and of my extended family experiences. How? Because we could tell you. You could be thoughtful and learn about them. When I tell you, for example, that my father’s car after a particularly tumultuous period of relations between his country of birth and his country of choice was treated quite poorly. Tires slashed, and window smashed in. It wasn’t a robbery. It was a hate crime due to his heritage. I can tell you about that, and boom — you understand a part of an experience my father had.

David’s advice to redirect the conversation is eminently reasonable. It’s what I would do (and have done) and it is what I would tell my daughter to do, and hope she did do, instead of wrapping herself in the chains of a victim.

We all live our lives, and while there is much we cannot control, we can control the manner in which we interact with others.

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