TEENAGE CRUSH (PART 2)

He had been really sweet for a couple of weeks. We would go on dates (secretly of course), didn’t want my mom knowing about the relationship because she would disapprove and say I’m too young to have a boyfriend at 16. Another reason I couldn’t tell my mom was because he was 35; much much older than I was. It was a thrilling experience; he would give me short kisses, pecks etc. He would call me on the phone, then I would have to lie to mom I was going for dance classes. This continued for so many weeks. His attention made me feel flawless and important. He would flaunt me in front of his friends and I was always trying to keep looking beautiful just for him. I started making up, became more concerned about the way I looked, spoke and acted just to fit into his circle of friends.

I agreed to having sex with him anytime he demanded. It felt more like a ritual. It seemed he didn’t care, obviously he was only interested in having sex with me. I didn’t know how I’d manage to agree despite knowing the relationship was a mistake. I would visit him mostly and promise myself we were not going to have sex but when I get there he would always find the perfect words to get me in the mood. Sometimes he would lick every part of my body, driving ravaging pleasures of adrenaline into my whole body. I began longing for him more than I ever imagined.

I must agree the sex was always great and I found myself obsessed with sex. When watching a romantic movie in the room alone, I would see myself doing strange things; things I’m so ashamed to talk about.

One fateful day, I lied to my mother as usual that I was visiting a friend of mine and that she shouldn’t expect me at home anytime soon. I had planned to visit him that day so we would spend ample time together. I called him on the phone and informed him I was coming over to his place and he said he was home waiting for me that he had a nice gift waiting for me. He always gave me nice and expensive gifts, though he was not very rich but was well to do. I had managed to hide all the previous gifts from the eagle-watching-eyes of my mother. I wondered as I took a cab to his street what he had waiting for me and starting devising means to hide the gift depending on what it was. If it was a common gift I was just going to lie to mom that a nice friend of mine gave it to me.

When I got to his house, there was darkness every but the scene was truly romantic; there were red candles everywhere and roses on the floor. And the bed? It sure looked like Paradise itself.

He said “I want us to try something new”

“Something new?” I laughed “I do not understand”

He came closer clutching my buttocks with his big hands and mildly pushed me closer to him so that I could feel his breath in my nose and his dick pressed against my vagina giving me a tingly feeling that wanted him all the more.

“Well, I want you to show me how big a girl you are. Prove to me you’re not mummy’s girl anymore”

My throat felt tighter. Do I still behaved like mummy girl? What’s he getting at? “You know I’m way past being mummy’s girl. I’m my own girl now. What do you want me to do? Tell me and I’ll do it right away. Tell me!” I replied.

“Woah! Slow down babe. It’s just that … um? You know what? I’m not quite sure you can do it, you’ll probably start crying. Just forget it”

“Tell me! Tell me!! I can do it. Look at me” I turned his face to meet my gaze “I can do whatever you tell me to do”

“Okay fine. Have you done a BJ before? Have you had sex with anybody for hours?”

“Um? No. I don’t know what a BJ means but I’ve never had sex with anyone yet you taught me right? Teach me what to do. I want to learn it. I want to learn everything there’s to know about guys and you know em.. sex”

He went ahead to explain everything to me including the meaning of BJ and by the time he was done explaining I was feeling aloft the world.

I gave him a BJ and I felt accomplished in a way that I’ve never felt and then we had sex for five hours without protection. By the time we were done, I was too weak to even get up. I was bleeding a little and felt my body aching all over. It was almost time to go home but I could not still find my strength. He kept asking me if I felt pained and how i was supposed to take this or that drug; like he could not see the pains. He carried me in his arms to the bathroom and scrubbed me all over. Funny enough I got a little strength after the bath and I was able to go home, limping of course.

When I got home I tried as much as possible to make sure mom didn’t notice but she did. I tried to come up with a million excuses and all I could utter was “I sprained my knees” and when she offered to have a look at it, I declined saying it was just a bruise and that I would be fine.

All the sexing and special gifts continued till I started noticing his funny behaviours. When I call him to arrange a meeting, he would tell me he was in one business meeting or the other. I was devastated and confused. I confided in a good friend of mine and told her of his behaviours but I left out the part where he was much much older than I was. She told me he must have been seeing another girl. In her owns words “Damn girl, you’re getting your ass dumped by that bastard. Men are bastards!”.

What! No! He can’t dump me not when I needed him the most. I decided to pay him a surprise visit and got the shocker of my lifetime. He was in bed with a pretty slim brunette. I stood at the door, unable to move or utter a word. He was telling her she was the best. She was the best? Where then does that leave me?

I whimpered and took a step back and hit a figurine that fell to the ground. He jerked aside in time to find me running away and he ran after me. Outside his condo, he held my arms and not knowing what to do I gave him a dirty slap across his face. I expected him to hit me but instead he gave me that hot kiss that always took me back in time to the day we met and the recreation centre. I tried shoving him away but felt myself sinking into the kiss, my mouth wanting more and hungrily seeking his kiss. He carried me into his condo and the brunette gave him a fuck-you finger as she walked past us.

We did it again. And I know it was silly of me. I shouldn’t have allowed him to do it again after what I had witnessed but you see it had transcended from a crush to an obsession; him, the sexing and even his gifts. I knew I needed help but who do I confide in. Mom would never listen to me now; she never does. She would probably kill me if she learned of this.

Few weeks after this, I discovered I became weaker and weaker by the day. I started vomiting, early morning sickness, I became thinner, couldn’t eat, mouth sores and so many symptoms. Mom checked me into a hospital. The doctor told us several tests would be carried out on me. The first tests showed me to be four weeks pregnant. Mom was shocked; she kept telling the doctor it was not possible, my daughter has known no other man except her father who had passed away. The young doctor replied sarcastically “M’am I’m pretty sure there was no insemination carried out on her medically so I guess she’s in the best position to answer that question. We’ll notify you of the results of the next test soon” and walked briskly in his all flowing white out of the female ward.

“Jacky?” Mom’s voice shook me off my reverie.

“Yes mom” I replied afraid and ready to die by her hands

“Please tell me how this happened. How the hell did this happen? Who is he and how long have this been going on?

“Mom, er…” I couldn’t find the right words. “His name is Shane and um.. he owns the Fast Tide Store the one that sells all those stuffs”

“Spare me the details! You’ve outdone yourself this time. You have decided to bring shame to me just like your elder sister right?”

“Mom this is partially your fault! You never listened to us. You were always busy with this client or that client. My sister’s untimely pregnancy and mine is all your fault. If you spent time with us I probably wouldn’t have met him and we wouldn’t be here now”

Mom gave me a slap that kept resounding in my ears. “It’s my fault? Do you know how I had to work my ass off to make sure you guys fed? Do you know the pains I went through giving you both a good and deserved life? And you sit in your shame and tell me it’s my fault?” Mom was weeping uncontrollably.

Just then a doctor entered my ward saying the next test result was out. He said this one was HIV test. He announced that I was HIV-positive. And started saying how the baby could be saved and that.

I simply fainted after the news greeted me. After I told my mom about Shane, she hired a private detective and we discovered to our utmost surprise that he was married with two children but after his wife discovered he was cheating and that he was HIV-positive, she threw him out of the house and got a court restraining order. My mom, I didn’t know how she was able to handle this.

I write this story not knowing what to do and by the time you read this, I might be far away in another land where the living and dead do not meet, maybe there I would be able to reconcile myself to myself and make peace with myself. Please take care of my baby girl and teach her not o follow the steps of her mother. Teach her the virtues of a woman and build trust and a great relationship with her. Mom, let her be your best friend even as I never was. When she is of age, please give her this letter.

My dear little darling,

My baby girl, I know you are going to be pretty but I have to warn you not to lose your virginity, don’t allow what you see in your vicinity break your wall of security. Your virginity is your dignity and make it your number one priority. Don’t listen to those who call it lack of opportunity, don’t allow the error of proximity lead you into immorality, don’t show off your body because it’s an atrocity and an insanity that should not be embraced. Listen to me, in God is your true identity and you are covered with divine immunity. Don’t attend immoral parties with friends but leave them to party in their irascibility because in reality the end is calamity. Don’t allow your virginity to be desecrated and your identity would be better. I love you Joanna.

Yours faithfully,

Sweet Mom

Jackleen

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