I said no, and he just hurt me harder.

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[TW/CW: r/pe culture, r/pe, assault, physical violence, murder and slut shaming.]

  • “Come on, give him a kiss goodbye! It’s rude not to.” (From 2-years-old onwards)
  • “He teases you because he likes you!”
  • “Men are just more sexual.”
  • “She shouldn’t have been wearing that kind of make up.”
  • “He would never do that, he’s a really nice guy.”
  • “Are you sure he meant it that way? Maybe you just misunderstood what happened.”
  • “If he pays for your dinner, then you owe him at least something.”
  • “If you don’t do it everyone will think you’re a prude.”
  • “No means try harder.”
  • “I’ll convince…

Blocking abusers on Twitter, making safe spaces for ourselves on dangerous territory is a valid and necessary response to what we are subjected to.

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Navigating Twitter (or most social media networks) as a person of color can sometimes feel like walking through a crowded street while people grope you, throw things at you, or stop you in the middle of the street to ask you why you exist. You’re not speaking to people face to face, so the rules of engagement are almost non-existent and boundaries are often mocked or plainly dismissed.

As an editor and freelance writer, I like to leave my direct messages open for questions from writers or notes from friends. More often than not, however, my inbox is littered with racist, misogynistic and queerphobic hate. I receive threats, abuse, demands for my time to explain why I wrote something, dick pics, “hey sexy’s”, long-winded emotional dumps from people I don’t know at all, and more. …

A weekly column for your soul: Featuring Morgan Jerkins

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By Lora Mathis (@l__mathis on Instagram)

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde

Femmes and womxn of color are often expected to put everyone else’s needs before our own. I still battle this idea in my mind that I should feel guilty about my “guilty pleasures” and that prioritizing myself is somehow selfish or damaging. In reality, those harmful ideas are a part of us because systems of oppression: patriarchy, white supremacy and capitalism, rely on us valuing paid and unpaid labor over ourselves.

What I want is for us to learn how to dismantle the negative feelings that we have attached to caring for ourselves. Self care for womxn and femmes of color is an act of resistance and it is vital for us to learn how to be kind to ourselves, not necessarily for the benefit of others, but for our own benefit. …


Lara Witt

Desi-Kenyan feminist | Freelance Writer & Managing Editor of Wear Your Voice Mag | femmefeministe.com

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