When cantankerous church folk whose pharisaic religiosity has made them incapable of kindness make you feel unworthy of God’s love.
Love Yourself
Oreoluwa Fakorede

I tried to remain a virgin until marriage, but fell short when I was almost 30. Not long after turning 30 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. One day after a very painful EKG (had it 2 weeks after my double mastectomy), I wondered aloud how I ended up there: “Is this punishment for me not waiting until marriage?” A friend: “Well, you know there are consequences for all sin so….”

The same friend had had multiple sex partners before marrying. Never got cancer. A whole bunch of people never got cancer as a result of premarital sex. I couldn’t think that rationally at the moment though. I was broken and in pain. I needed my Christian friend to reassure me that God doesn’t selectively punish us in this way. Never happened. Took me a year and a half of spiritual brokenness to realise she was wrong.

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