Thoughts on the Seine

And now I am wishing you were right next to me. Upon the still water and under the yellow street light, blew the chilling wind of Paris nights. La Seine, full of unknown faces, was loud. Music was blowing from every corner, jazz, blues, reggae, all the kinds that go well with a good joint. I am high, and I’m wishing you were here. All I’m getting for days now is pictures of you. And all I want is your warm hands’ caresses of my tiny body. I wish i could feel your chin on my shoulder and your nose caressing my neck right under my left ear. To feel your heart beat while your chest is pressed gently on my back is my deepest desire. The wave of obsession that enclosed me for weeks was long gone, but somehow I managed to get caught inside of it once more. I escaped you, I escaped him, literally. I put miles of road between me and the both of you. He was long lost into the void my mind has created for unwanted memories. You, however, managed to captivate it. You managed to tame my wild heart into wanting you. You forced my careless mind into thinking only of you. And all I want now, right here, is you. The conversations aren’t scarce. Yet I’m not causing with anyone. I think of you and the many times I found myself unwillingly dragged into your warm body, and how good that felt. And somehow this effect is incomparable. I could smoke weed for days on end but it could never compare to the feeling of your touch, to the pleasure of your caress, to the relaxing mood of your hug. I could not smoke weed for days on end and I wouldn’t miss it, or crave it. Yet I crave you. And my heart desires you. And I want you. And I would find myself thinking of you when I least expect it. It’s insane but everything screams you, and everything reminds me of you. Right now I’m high. Yet my heart is ten feet under, because it misses you. I’m ashamed to admit but my drug, my obsession, my addiction is you.

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