What Are Friends For?

Trust me, it’s not what you think.

One of the many episodes of Barney and Friends taught me that

“friends are special, they’re so important, they make the world go round…”

and from the onset, we have all been wired to make friends or at least feel the need to. Just like that, doing things alone becomes weird. We feel the need to have a companion, or more, because apparently that’s what humans do — or so they said.

Ok so now I need to get a friend but I have absolutely no idea how to go about that. How do I go about that? I’ll maybe just go with whoever is cool with me in church or at school because those are the places where I get to meet and know people. We don’t really have neighbors and those that should count as neighbors are way older. Hollup tho… I’m not actually cool with half of the folks that are cool with me. So I’m guessing the feeling has to be mutual then. Sounds great! Now I have to learn the seemingly hideous task of sharing things that are dear to me. It doesn’t seem like a good idea. Well, on the brighter side, nothing is ever as it seems. It feels awesome because now that we are all sharing, there are more toys to play with, more fun games, and a few angry moments too.

Okay, so we are humans. There’s always that probability of friction happening. It’s our job to learn ways to overcome them and go on happily with life. Like when Tobi becomes sad because I refused to go with him to the playground. I’m supposed to make him happy by going even though I feel worn out or just need some alone time at that point. I should learn to be selfless. Put others first and think, in advance, of how my actions may affect people.

It’s all well and good, I’m beginning to grasp the whole thing and learn to walk the ropes of life like a pro until the rules change. Going with Tobi all the time to the park becomes a bad thing because now I’m supposed to have a mind of my own. “C’mon Fi, can’t you think for yourself? Must you always do things because your friends are? So if they ask you to put your hands in fire you will?” Right now I’m lost, and confused. I’ve been living by this same playbook for years and now the rules have changed. I learnt to sacrifice my comfort for others but now I’m gullible for doing that? I should really have a mind of my own.

“Having a mind of your own does not mean you shouldn’t have friends.”

True. The key is in balancing both acts. So yeah time to learn that too. I just wonder why all these many complications. Maybe life is just a Gamsole creation and I’m only going through different levels. That makes sense, I guess. In that case, since I’ve made it this far, I’m a badass. Bring it on!

You should definitely beware of the type of friends you keep. At least that one rule survived all iterations and has remained the same from level 1. Well, maybe not totally. At level 1, I called the shots, and only those that could fit in with me were selected as friends. By now I guess I should be fully aware that the only constant in life is change.

I am not going to be a lonely scum. I want more, and more of everything. Take a look at David, he talks to the girls, everybody thinks he’s cool. No one sees me the same way and that hurts. I should become friends with David, his charm might just rub off on me. Oh he has some ideas I’m not pretty comfortable with but never mind I’ll just take what I need. After all, we all have our faults and I am far from being perfect.

I’m going to be cool pretty soon. I’m rolling with the cool guys. I just have to do as they do and say what they say. I’ll be cool in no time and yeah that’s what my mind wants to do — cos I know the “you should have a mind of your own” sermon is brewing in your head right now.

Always doing what they do is starting to become boring. I mean, I don’t feel comfortable in this shoe anymore so I should definitely let go. I don’t think I have to tell “the cool kids” my every move anymore. Not after asking myself why. I can no longer meet a girl and be just friends with her ‘cos Dare will want to know the details of how we smashed and all. I want to be just friends with many girls. I could come up with stories for the bro just to feed him what his ears hunger for. Nah, I’m not even comfortable with that either.

I don’t have to walk in some shoes that don’t fit just because they make me seem “cool”.

I’m hurting real bad. I don’t see these folks as game or medals or trophies like y’all do. I don’t have a collection or hall of fame for the girls I’ve smashed — and I don’t plan to.

I don’t drink because you do. If I did, I would be smoking too. I feel the need to check your influence on me the same way I felt the need to associate with you in the first place. Wait a minute, do I smell a little rebellion here? I guess I’m just getting to have a mind of my own. Finally yeah? I know!

Why really are we friends? Is it because we happened to share the same hobbies or goals or desires? What are friends for? Could this be the birth of a feminist-esque movement for friends? Equal rights and amount of influence? No, I don’t think so. There’s no one cap that fits all. Those that told us about friendship and introduced the game to us forgot to lay down rules to govern it. Some of us expect total trust and loyalty, others just want people to chill with and maybe help take their minds off pressures from elsewhere. Could friendship be really stronger than family or is it all just in our heads? Maybe friends are people you can just poke at random on Facebook and nothing more.

Maybe I’m the perfect friend. Definitely not! Maybe I’m just trying to define what type of people I want as friends. Maybe I need a challenge. Something new and different. Maybe I’m getting older.

It’s great hanging out and having fun but what else do you bring to the table? What are you known for? If you break a leg today, how many will still be there? Are you better off now than you were before the friendship? Why are they your friends? What are they there for?

Friends have great influence. The influence friendship has cannot be overstated. Who influences who? I’m unsure how much important that is but one thing is certain;

You either influence your friends or they influence you.