The Truth: REAL relationships are HARD work

A couple of 2 months holding hands to symbolise how strong their relationship is.

When I was a child, I remember watching Disney movies. I absolutely loved the way the princess always found her prince charming and lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, life isn’t always like that. Most of us have to kiss a few frogs before we can ever find our prince charming (and princess for others). But you know what? Once we find that perfect person, the search will be totally worth it! But be warned: Being in a relationship is not for the faint hearted. I know because I’ve been in a relationship for three years. I love every bit of it! Even when there are moments where I want to strangle my partner.

Now, before reveal the ugly truth about relationships, I want you to know something: If you’re looking for a temporary fling, STOP reading now and get back on Tinder. If you’re ready to face the truth about loving someone else other than yourself? Keep reading.

So, you’ve gone through the process of kissing frog after frog (going on a lot of dates) and after several attempts, you think you have finally found the perfect person. That’s not always the case. For instance, I had this one friend who dated a guy for three months and told me, “Oh, I could never fight with him. I love him too much”. Guess what happened? A month later, they started to fight constantly for over two years and finally broke up. Ignorance is bliss. This is why you must remember: You will have to fight your partner at some point in your life. It’s inevitable. What matters is how you deal with it.

How do you deal with it? I have my own way of dealing with fights in my own three year relationship and that is to remember what makes a loving relationship strong. To find out what made a long term relationship strong for other couples, I walked along Wellington CBD and interviewed a few people. As you can hear from the audio (below), I asked them: How long they have been together and what made their relationship strong.

Here are their answers and please click the orange arrow to hear what they said:

This is the first couple I interviewed (They have lasted for 4 years)
This is the second couple I interviewed (They have lasted for 2 months)
This is the third couple I interviewed (They have lasted 15 years)

A wonderful Wellingtonian couple that has been in a relationship for 15 years and married for 10. They were having a little date at the Wellington Harbour to keep their relationship fun and romantic.

Summing up the three couple interviews I had, regardless of the length of the relationship (2 months, 4 years, 3 years, or 15 years), it is important to dedicate yourself to your partner by communicating your needs daily. Otherwise, your relationship will crumble before your eyes.

You have to work hard and at the same time have fun!

I agree with their advice and I apply most of these rules in my own relationship! For instance, when I fight with my boyfriend I just have the urge to kill him (figuratively speaking) but I also love him. So, we figure out how to fix the problem once we’ve calmed down. With cool heads, we usually communicate all our needs and come up with a compromise that benefits us both. It has worked for three years and I’m not stopping now!

I know this may seem terrifying to people who are in the early stages of dating but it’s totally worth it! Besides, it’s better than kissing frogs all your life right? When you find the person who is truly willing to put up with you…Don’t let them go. Work hard for them and see if they are willing to work hard for you. If you find that you are both compatible then everything will work out just fine! So keep searching and who knows? You might have that happily ever after someday.

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