The Noobs Mini Crypto Investor “starter guide!”

I will be updating this regularly.

Last updated 17th April 2018

None of the links are affiliates apart from the one directly below because I believe you MUST use a hardware wallet if you are serious about your Crypto! It’s probably one of the best bits of advice I can give a Noob.

Well it’s been a couple of weeks since I last updated this article/blog (Last update 28th March I left below in italics) It’s now the 17th April and the market has shot up. I did say on the 28th that I thought a rally “was close”. Bitcoin rose $1000 in one hour on the 12th April, which hurt a lot of overconfident shorters. My personal portfolio was at one stage up by 42% due to it mainly being Altcoins, Eth and TaaS which is a fund of currencies and tokens. Bitshares and OMG I mentioned on 28th and have come out trumps. Along with DMT that Mooned at one stage to over $2 as it got listed on Bittrex Exchange! It’s now dropped back to $0.56.. however I managed to take some profits out at $1.30-$1.52 😋. MoxyOne failed to reach its softcap at ICO but all ICO investors minus the Presale investors get an automatic refund. I took part in the presale so I may not get anything back. They will see “what’s left” after expenses and then distribute. The big question is “are we out of the woods yet?” Bitcoin was dancing at $7k and is now dancing at $8k… Taxes have been paid on the massive gains of 2017, or should have been paid! Somehow a Muslim Scholar has declared that Bitcoin conforms to “Sharia Law” which basically means Muslims can go on a buying spree. Still not sure if his wise comments will take traction. If his comments do stick it opens up a whole new market! I think we are now on a steady market climb with the occasional boost up… the shorters had to drop their cocktails🍸 on Thursday! Spring is well underway and the hormone levels climb.. I wish you success over the next few months. Things can move be very fast in Crypto…. last week proved just that and injected 40ml of hope into my veins.

Here’s a great new support page from You will find LOTS of tips!

Las t updated: 28th March 2018 (I can’t believe the first 1/4 has gone 😮)

The Crypto Market has pulled back even more since my last update on 24th Feb. Where the bottom is is up to the market. My tactic is to protect my assets a little and mostly sit tight. With the help of DMarket (DMT) I’ve managed to offset the fall of Bitcoin and Ethereum. TaaS has also performed very well against Eth. It’s actually up 28% against Eth over 3 months. TaaS pays out more Eth on around 5th May but this time it will be a lot less, if any. I do however still believe that a rally isn’t far off. As I’m not a whale I have no control whatsoever over what ultimately happens. So continue picking up bargains for the rally that will come. My current targets are NEM, BTS (BTS one of my best ever money makers) ETC, ETH, WINGS…. Others are STRAT, OMG… NEO to a certain extent. DomRaider DRT is still one I’m being very patient on, maybe too patient. I have added two new ICO’s MOXYone (SPEND) and AURORA (IDXM & AURA) Moxy may not get off the ground if they don’t make their softcap of 4000 Eth but Eth is much lower ($425) now so it might make it. If it doesn’t I’ll probably lose my Stake as I took part in the “presale” not the public ICO. If you take part in the public ICO you will get a full refund should it fail. IDEX is a new decentralised exchange and seems to be gaining a bit of attention. IDEX has many tokens about 190 but it ONLY deals in ERC-20 tokens NOT Bitcoin!

Big hopes for AURA when it starts “staking” in Q3! Buy when the interest isn’t there… think ahead?

If you own a Ledger Nano S get your firmware updated ASAP. You can now load on 18 tokens at once plus the security issues have been quashed. Don’t believe the FUD. A hardware wallet is still your best option!

So that’s about it for this little update to my guide. If you find it helpful please give it a “👏” or two for me! Thanks.

Sit tight and don’t get shaken.

Myetherwallet split into two different companies due to a “disagreement” most of the MEW team went to with the cofounder. More info in this Twitter link: Just one thing to bear in mind is that both sites aren’t really “wallets” they are just “gateways” to the Ethereum Blockchain. They don’t store your Tokens and they don’t own your private keys. Only YOU are responsible for keeping them safe. Both sites go to long lengths to explain this and are NOT responsible if you lose your stash through user error, phishing and hacking. Which one you use is up to you but personally I’d use MyCrypto. As time goes by the sites will begin to look different.

Here’s a “Wind back the clock to 26th Feb 2016” against today’s Individual Market Capitalisation… only 6 of the original 13 remain visible. $btc $eth $ltc $xrp $xmr #bitcoin Market Cap has increased 2,435% #litecoin 8,393% #ripple 13,387% #ethereum a staggering 17,451% #dash 19,557% #monero a phenomenal 49,328%! …Remember this is Market Cap not Token price increase.

Below this point is some of the last update from 6th Feb!

Well an awful lot has happened in just under 10 days! This goes to prove it’s not always “Champagne and laughs” but “tears and despair” especially when people use their credit cards. How low the market will go is anyone’s guess… someone posted this useful chart.

Hey but we’re still up! The banks in the UK have banned customers from buying Crypto with Credit Cards but not with Debit cards as that IS your money. They also don’t mind you depositing your Crypto profits!

Pullbacks in the market are “normal and healthy” so don’t get too frightened. If you’re heavily in debt now you’ve only got yourself to blame and it’s part of the learning curve. Things look bad at present but will turnaround. Those that sold and took profits WILL enter the market again. My advice is to try and buy the dips… not too often but on sizeable moves.

Bitconnect was a scam and everyone with one brain cell knew it but still tried their luck…. Don’t do it.

WARNING: If someone asks you to send ANY CRYPTO to them where you will receive double as a promotion.. IT IS A SCAM. Put brain in gear. The first post is the real VB then a fake steps in.

Previous update: Jan 2018 left here just to show what can happen in just 10 days

Since my last update on 19th Jan bitcoin has played with $10,000 and is starting to rise again as I mentioned. Now $11,700. Ethereum is now $1145 and climbing steadily. Coincheck exchange in Japan Got hacked about $500M NEM. It wasn’t the NEM Blockchain that got hacked it was Coincheck through amateur security measures. Remember DON’T KEEP CRYPTO ON EXCHANGES! Here’s a link to read.

Outlook for 2018?

2018 will be as exciting as 2017… it will have its ups and down and scares too. Crypto Currencies are slowly becoming mainstream. The market cap advance tells you this. Expect those ICO’s to slow down a bit but watch the older ones starting to “mature” as they hit roadmaps. It is these events that will drive the so called “shitcoins” that Bitcoin maximalists like to call them. Don’t underestimate the drive behind some of these projects… some will fail but that’s normal. Just be diversified and you will just get slapped. Ethereum will mature further and become more mainstream. Proof of Stake should kick in but may supply volatility to the market as uncertainty on whether it will work or not. Ethereum have an excellent team that are taking it carefully. Vitalik and his team don’t need to rush things.

I think 2018 will be the year you could actually pay for services and consumer items… with the likes of Tenx (already working but having problems) Monacocard etc. Buy a beer with Eth or BTC cool or what! I wish you all a great crypto year.

Chart below 28th Jan 2018 Ethereum is performing much better over last month.

Ledgerwallet release Crypto Steel a fireproof plate for 24 word seed. Sold out.

A colleague just asked me “How do I get started in Crypto investing?” I could have said “Google it..!” but then I thought that’s the standard asocial answer in today’s forums and on social media. So I set about trying to quickly put together some points he could take away with.

“Where can I buy it?”

On “exchanges” (yes you have guessed it… Google to the rescue!) Here’s a list of “active exchanges” I say “active” as many are now defunct. I will come to this later.

“So you can pick an exchange from the list and just join…?”

It’s not that simple. You’ll need to provide ID and other data to get “verified” if you want to trade a lot. What exchange you pick depends really on what you want to invest in. Different exchanges trade different tokens and pairs ETH/USD, LTC/XBT and so on. Pick a reputable exchange with a good security record. Even No.1 Bitfinex has been “hacked” of 120,000 BTC (Bitcoin) Aug 2016. So it’s basically a mine field! Here you can find out what is traded on which exchange.

Another point to think about is where you are located.. Iran, Syria… It is rumoured that #bittrex just locked peoples accounts without notice from such countries (Not favourable to U.S.A) It could happen to you! Basically locking up your assets left on their exchange. (If you don’t own YOUR Private Keys you don’t own YOUR Crypto)

Here‘s a Twitter account trying to get an answer!

“How do I fund my account?”

With good old “Fiat”. No you don’t have to sell your car! Fund your account with £$¥ or whatever. When your hard earned cash is sitting in your account you can then start buying whatever Tokens/Coins you want. ⚠️ I say „hard earned cash“ that doesn’t include Credit Cards! ⚠️ If you don’t heed this piece of advice please don’t cry when it all goes pear shaped. On most exchanges there is a “Troll Box” which is a chat box.. stay away from them as people try to “Pump & Dump” their positions on people just like YOU! That said, you can sometimes find answers to problems that you may be having. Not all Trolls have warts.

“Ok I’ve bought my tokens now what?”

First of all don’t over trade! Buy sell buy sell sell buy. Give your position time to mature and show you its direction. Most newbies are after a quick profit! My colleague said “I’m not interested in the Big stuff like Ethereum and Bitcoin! I just want to buy the really speculative stuff!” That will be his first mistake. (And was…)

Update: Bitcoin has risen 400%

Update 28th Jan 2018: Bitcoin has fallen -40% from $19716 to $11875 it was as low as $9400. From $11875 to get back up to its high of $19716 it needs to climb 66% mathematics is cruel!

A balance is the key. Bitcoin and Ethereum should be the trunk of your tree and most others the branches. You can buy twigs if you’re feeling brave but be warned, they might get shaken off. Get used to dealing in the less volatile tokens first. Saying that Bitcoin dropped $550 the other day. Then dropped even more and then rose $400 in one hour! Get my drift? Keep an eye out for “turning events” (China making ICO’s “illegal” or closing exchanges) Crypto Investing isn’t for grandmothers and widows. Be prepared to change your mind on a certain token or method. I used to hate ETC but now I hold it.

ICO’s are not ideal for beginners

Here’s a beautiful motion histogram of ICO growth and token sales… you can see at present it’s “blooming”!

As you can see Trading is a big subject on its own. If you’re a Noob I’d stay away from ICO’s until you get confident with the day to day running of your portfolio. Make some decent gains first and then maybe dabble in one or two. I mean dabble, a few $100’s can do very well. Gone are the days when EVERY ICO rocketed.

This is what happens to your beloved token (BTS) when an exchange like “Bittrex” decides to “delist” it without notice. 13th Oct 17

Update 21th Nov 17: Binance Exchange Lists $BTS to fill hole left buy Bittrex.

Update 26th Nov 17: BTS now $0.138 so it’s doubled since 13th Oct. It goes to show that a fresh listing can have the opposite effect. Luckily I bought the drop!

Update 18th Dec 17: BTS now $0.41 just goes to show a big turnaround… learn to recognise then before others do.

Update 29 Sept: Now South Korea has banned all interactions with ICO’s but it’s still unclear to what extent. Geopolitical factors have a big effect on Crypto 🎢

Only invest what you are prepared to COMPLETELY LOSE!

The two charts above are well out of date Bitcoin is now $8900 (update: $20,000!) Eth $470 (Update: $710!) just trying to show volatility.

How do I keep track of my Portfolio?

There are many ways of keeping track of your trades. If you use just one exchange it’s easy. You can use their Tx history. If you are using many exchanges it gets much harder… I use “Blockfolio” but even that is cumbersome. You could use “cointracker” but if you don’t use it from the start it seems to make integration difficult giving false readings (it isn’t cheap either). You could design your own on “Excel” table using exported history/transaction files extracted from exchanges. What you choose is what suits you best.

My current Blockfolio Portfolio with balances hidden. Thanks for reading this far! Some tokens are double because the pairing is different ETH/BTC ETH/USD.

Here are a few terms you might hear!

Some people say “HODL” Hodlers like to buy and hold forever and even longer! Some people like to trade and some like to mix. I personally mix, taking advantage of a big windfall. I then invest a proportion of the profits in the main coins and dabble in more speculative ones. What you choose is just “you” and don’t let anyone change “you”. Don’t be afraid to take a profit, it’s not a sin unless you’re a Hodler.

You will also hear many new terms in the “Crypto Crypt” (I say Crypt as many exchanges are dead Cryptsy Exchange for one!

FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out! Is when you are chasing a price higher so as not to miss the ride. It’s like trying to jump on a wild donkey that’s been slapped on the arse… quite dangerous.

FUD = Fear Uncertainty Doubt! Basically it’s the opposite to FOMO but just as dangerous. It’s the equivalent of sitting on a Camel that’s sitting on the ground. As soon as you get off (sell) it will jump up and run off to greener pastures. Here are more terms if you’re interested:

“Ok, how do I protect my coins?”

Now to the most important part! Security! Security! Security! Here’s just a short starter list. It’s a whole new topic that you need to research.

“GET A HARDWARE WALLET!” Is probably the best piece of advice anyone can give you.

Ledgerwallet Trezor These are not affiliated links! (More on this below)

Never ever reveal your passwords or private keys to anyone… not even your wife! Wife? I’ll get back to wives and girlfriends/boyfriends later.

Choose secure passwords: This is a good start but some people say this isn’t really safe either, as a site generates them! Simple, just change the generated ones slightly.

Use “2FA” Two Factor Authentication to put a second door in front or your accounts. Yes it’s a pain but it’s more painful having your tokens stolen.

Remember to backup the keys for these 2FA accounts. If you lose your phone or “Irma” destroys your house you will need them. Take your time setting them up… keep copies of the codes! If you buy a new iPhone keep the old one “alive” with the 2FA on until you’re 💯 % sure the 2FA is active and working for ALL your accounts on your replacement device.

Backup Wallet files regularly and store multiple copies.

Don’t delete an old Crypto address unless you are 💯 certain it is obsolete. Archive it yes but keep the keys etc. It maybe attached to a mining account that you forgot about. (I just found 0.53 eth that was sent to an address 127 days ago!)

Update: I just found another 0.09 eth from 390 days ago! $28

Update: I found bitcoin on an old Ledger Nano… plugged it in and found 0.34 BTC worth about $2500 on 26 Nov now $6300… Luck. Don’t forget there is also free BCH & BTG (Bitcoin Cash and Bitcoin Gold on it too.. because of forks!)

Don’t keep too much on an exchange they go bankrupt, get hacked, robbed, block you. Whatever you want to call it. I’d rather pay a few dollars to move it to a Ledgerwallet than have someone remove it all.

UPDATE: 28th Jan 2018 COINCHECK Exchange gets hacked… $500M in NEM stolen. It just goes to prove my point from the paragraph above.

Use secure USB sticks if you can afford one. (Don’t skimp on security) it doesn’t have to be 32gb! Buy two and use the second one as a backup. If you lose one in a hotel room don’t worry it’s secure. You could also store other sensitive data on it if you want… virus checked of course.

  • Update Virus software.
  • Use a dedicated PC for Crypto.
  • Keep your PC updated.
  • If you follow a link sent to you by a “friend” (fiend) double check it.
  • If your Windows 10 “alerts” you, take heed… it’s trying to warn you.
  • Look after ALL Crypto like it’s worth a million dollars… That little “1000 Bitcoin” might be worth something someday! You’ll kick yourself for selling sometimes… but remember at the “time” it was the right decision.
  • Don’t click links in social media leading to Online Wallets such as (did you just click it? Don’t! It was the real link though 😉 Did you click it now? Don’t! Don’t trust anyone) “MEW” is however an excellent site and they will help you. Just bookmark the “genuine” site in your browser. Only login when you want to send tokens. If you want to view your balance use an “explorer” or equivalent. There you can see any entry that has ever taken place on the Blockchain of your choice.
  • UPDATE: Feb 2018 There is now a second website called that has split away from MyEtherWallet taking with it most of the team. I would personally use MyCrypto but ultimately the choice is yours.
  • Here’s a nasty trick:
  • Here’s the original post:
  • Here’s a nice tutorial on setting up a Myetherwallet on YouTube
  • There are scammers in the Slack Channels who offer you all sorts of „bonuses“ to ICO’s. Don’t send ANY Ethereum to these scam addresses as you will NOT get anything in return. Look at the attached picture, it just shows how lucrative it is. 14 transactions and $12,000 (47 eth) taken from people who weren’t careful. Chronobank ICO ENDED LONG AGO! I know I got scammed 25 eth during it… So I’m speaking from experience. The price of eth then was just $17 a piece, not $250. What makes this one worse is that the people sending eth in now don’t even know the ICO is over… so zero research. My scam was a false URL with an „S“ at the end of Chronobank(s). “It will never happen to me!” Famous last words.
  • Here’s a good Medium article from Myetherwallet about beating the scammers.
  • Have strong passwords on computers.
  • Don’t leave devices unattended and switched on.
  • Use a hardware wallet like a Ledgerwallet Nano S

Yes you may use a paper wallet but do so at your own risk.. fire 🔥 water 💦 looking 👀 I stopped using them a longtime ago. If you have a couple of 100 dollars held in Crypto then it’s fine to start with but I recommend getting it right from the beginning.

Update: Just found a Metal version for your 24 Word Pass phrase. Ledgerwallet Crypto Steel… out of stock and only available in a bundle with 2 x Ledgerwallet Nano S

  • Use secure passwords for email accounts.
  • Don’t use the same password for different accounts (Crypto and Email) You lose one they get them all.
  • Beware of “phone engineering“ An excellent piece of security advice from one of my favourite exchanges. Were you careful when you clicked the link… always be paranoid.
  • Another good read on security:

“Stranger Things”

As you accumulate Tokens/Coins it’s worth looking into your account a bit more closely. Sometimes tokens you never bought get “Airdropped” into it. This is as a promotion or sometimes as a reward for something you have taken part in. Look under the „token“ section.

Or for taking part in evaluations and predictions on “Wings” platform for example.

Remember your Ethereum address is public! Send me any tokens if you wish.


This one is just for Medium.

“Ok, What happens to my fortune when I die”

Ok not a nice subject but it’s going to happen at some stage. Just be prepared! (not to die… but to hand over your wealth) Over to those beloved wives and friends. If you care about your „bag“ (not your wife… sorry British humour) then you should pass it on safely. Educate that chosen person or persons on how to access your accounts and how to do basic transactions. Let them do some „tx’s“ for you. Make up a file on Excel or similar program, where all the info is readily available. Use the „comment“ function to add info in plain speak. „Cryptsy is an exchange where all my tokens are kept“ (god forbid!) yes it seems simple to you but think like the other person does. Keep it updated too. There’s no point in changing a password and not telling the person or updating it in the instructions.

Well I’ll cut it there but I will be updating this piece as I learn new things.

To sum up. Stay Safe and Secure. Trust only a few people. Look after your personal info and keys etc. Do your research and never stop trying to educate yourself.

Just enjoy Crypto because even if you’re just getting involved you’re a pioneer…. Believe it or not.

This is just a starter! Many people will disagree with some things but that’s human nature. Find your own methods. I’m open to constructive criticism but I’m not prepared to be slaughtered by Poloniex Trolls… I’m so glad they closed their Troll Box

The best online wallet for Ethereum based tokens is did you click it? You’re learning, well done! Did the link go where you expected?

All links in the article are 100% safe!

PS… Don’t be a dead Penguin!

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