As a terminally ill patient, I wondered why I was sooo angry. “Grief” my hospice counselor told me… Subliminally I was grieving the things I loved and would be missing. Sure, other people, mainly my family, would grieve me, some would be inconsolable. I expected that.

I did not expect I would grieve even the simplest things as time goes by. I miss the Carolina mountains. I will never see them again. I grieve a thousand other things thst I’ll never get to do, or try.

Sometimes I wish I had died quickly, like in a car accident. This long drawn out process makes me bitter and angry. Had I died quickly, my husband would not be tired from caring for me, nor angry that we’ve gone through our life savings just to keep me breathing.

I hate my disease, what it’s done to me, my family, and my grieving process says “time to go”.