For Better or For Worse

Sometimes you wait a while to find out that something never really was. What to do…

الحَمْد لله (for better or for worse)

Recently I was faced with a decision: defend my ego and perhaps get myself into some trouble (throw caution to the wind), or… acknowledge where I am at in life and make better decisions, to be less attached. I chose the latter.

الحَمْد لله (for better or for worse)

People ask me to this day whether I know my Korean family and whether or not I am going to look for them. Well, why not? Then they ask, “What if you can’t find them, or if they are dead?” I have been asking myself the same question for a long time, as I’m sure many others have, and the answer that works for me is: for better or for worse, الحَمْد لله ~

الحَمْد لله (for better or for worse)

We shouldn’t get our hopes up, not too high and not for too long. We also don’t need to be too cynical. It’s just that, if we inflate our own balloon, we should know better than anyone else the initial nature of the balloon. We shouldn’t be surprised when it deflates, and if it does, for better or for worse… eh, keep moving. Or rather, perhaps we can compare getting our hopes up with our lungs: they fill with air, with hope, and they become empty sometimes, leaving us gasping for more, but this is the nature and they are designed to go between the two, the result being the sustenance of life. Either way we gotta keep breathing until we can’t anymore. I choose to breath steady.

الحَمْد لله (for better or for worse)

So now I am back in school, sorta, and working on a few projects that I truly enjoy: writing, creating study materials for others, and playing music. Life is sorta tough, it can be hard to balance a societal life and a personal life. Lately I have been waning off of the social because I realized I already have my core set of friends and interests, and in a way this ties so deeply with my personal life. This realization comes with a frame-shift in the sense that I am now slowing down my pace and reframing what I really want to spend my time doing. Tough for me to realize, though now I have, a lot of the time I was looking to establish a network and to start projects was wasted because I already had what I needed, I just needed to do. For better or for worse, I am choosing this path, الحَمْد لله ~

الحَمْد لله