Oil, Sugar, Acid

Or how to marinate a daughter


Choose carefully. It will affect appearance and malleability


A pale sweetener can be slipped in unnoticed. Darker sugars may leave a bitter taste


As sharp as possible

Your daughter must be marinated. Her tenderness and acceptability depend on the recipe you follow

First, the oil. Daughters can be edgy creatures. You must smooth and manipulate them. Advise her on friendships, persuade her to read suitable books, remind her that she needs your guidance on everything

Next, sugar. Keep a smile on your face at all times. If you fail to do this your daughter will find sweetness elsewhere. White sugar is a watery, insincere smile. Dark sugars are complex. Use too much and the underlying bitterness may be exposed. If your eyebrows form a scowl, a wide smile is an excellent distraction

Now, acid. Sharp comments, spiteful glares, disappointed glances. The acid should cut through the other flavours, not overpower them. Beware of adding extra. If your daughter is aware only of the sharpness, your recipe will fail


Use with exceptionally bland daughters. Your taste in daughters is personal. If you enjoy conflict, and always win, certainly add spice


Keep in mind that salt melts ice. You may prefer to leave the frozen crystal in your daughter’s heart


Marinate your daughter for several years. Start early before she develops character. Otherwise you may have to add extra sugar and acid

Should the daughter remain tough after lengthy marinating, discard her

[Next week’s recipe: Wife, Finely Ground]