FG’s Top-10 Digital-Nomad Tips: How to fly like a boss

1. Fly with a budget carrier, but use your frequent-flyer points to upgrade to a premium seat. You can board the plane first, so the obligatory selfie will make your acolytes think you have the plane all to yourself.

2. Always recline your seat. As a Boss, you are entitled to crush the legs of the pleb sitting behind you. If they complain, just tell them you are crushing it.

3. Eat a high-fibre meal before flying. The ensuing flatulence will ensure that your fellow passengers can all share your sweet smell of success.

4. Use open-backed headphones, select your favourite Justin Beiber album and crank up the volume, so no-one will want to sit within earshot of you. Singing along also helps.

5. If anyone complains about your behavior, and the cabin crew speaks to you, simply look straight into her eyes and say, ‘What colour panties are you wearing?’. She will never bother you again. Guaranteed.

6. Always take a Viagra pill before flying to prevent a possible high-altitude pulmonary edema (HAPE). Loose-fitting pants are also a good idea if you get too excited watching Justin Beiber on your HacBook Pro.

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Freeloading Globetrotter

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I hate being called a ‘nomad’. It sounds so ethnic, like a small brown person, with no shoes, wandering aimlessly around a desert with only flies for company.