“LETTING GO”... MORE THAN JUST A DISNEY MOVIE SOUNDTRACK
Let’s be honest, that title has gotten old and repetitive. But it makes sense. To all those that are like me and wonder, ‘Is it okay to let go?’ I want you to know it is. I know how hard it is to let go but it’s for the best. When you can’t make another see the worth of your being, when they can’t recognise the gleam they put in your eyes, when they are oblivious to the struggle you go through to make them happy... that’s when it’s time to let go.
Your heart, much like the rest of you is valuable, and if the person you yearn for isn’t smart enough to see it, they aren’t worth the painstaking chores. Don’t fall into the trap of forgetting how valuable you are. I did and it wasn’t pretty...
About a year ago today, yours truly met this girl who rang all the right bells. Her very intelligence was reason enough for me to fall for her, but she had something else. To this day I don’t know what it is, but it made me feel everything. When she spoke, it felt like the whole world had gone quiet for just that one chance to hear her melodic voice. I was often lost in the sound, the words melded into one tune that set my whole body at ease. That wasn’t all, she had passion. If she felt a certain way about something, nothing could change her view no matter how hard you tried. The burning ambition in her eyes was unmistakable. She wanted it all, and I wanted her.
One would obviously think this was infatuation and to tell you the truth I think it was, but love can’t start without infatuation to warm up its metaphoric engine. So when you have infatuation, pursue it, don’t stop just because it exists, eventually it will turn into love(if you’re lucky). Like a newborn baby you have to nurture it until it grows to become a strong healthy person that can fend for itself. But I digress.
I tried to be there for her, I learnt about her secret habits, I learnt about her mannerisms, I learnt to see things from her perspective because sixty percent of the time, hers was better than mine and who wouldn’t want to look through someone else’s eyes to see something better?
I grew to love her and love her I did. I prepared my heart, as though she were moving in. I fell for her and I fell hard... unfortunately, I fell alone.
When I gathered up my courage in this ball of expression, I told her as clear as I could that I liked her, that I wanted nothing more than to be hers and for her to be mine. I searched through my head for the right words to say when the time came, and when words I wasn’t sure of came, I used them anyway. I played a tune to appease her organised heart, it was a pity she didn’t like the wild sounds I played with my own heart (sorry I got carried away with trying to be artistic).
I stood there in absolute silence, waiting to hear her say the words, “I like like you too.” But it’s never that easy, as Deadpool said life is a series of sadness with brief commercial breaks of happiness (I might be paraphrasing). She never said the words I hoped with all my heart to hear. She never said anything relatively close. Quite the opposite actually, “I wish I felt the same way about you, I wish I felt the same vibes but it just isn’t happening. I only see you as a friend.”
Breaking hearts can damn nearly be heard the moment they hit the metaphorical ground. You can almost hear the piercing sound of the fragile solid manifestation of your love break into pieces too many to count, too many to piece together, too many to find, too many to not get cut by... but I put a fake face of confidence and said words I didn’t and still don’t believe.
“I will win your heart over in the end.”
The truth is I should have let go at that point, I should have thrown in the towel and given my best losing speech. I should have but I didn’t and what did that turn into? A series of mishaps, mistakes, failures and lessons learnt the hard way.
In short what I’m trying to say is it’s never wrong to give up when the credit card of your love is denied. It just means she or he wasn’t the right one, and that the right one, whoever it maybe is still out there. Searching for you too and wondering if you have any food with you because they are starving...
You have just feasted your eyes upon another Frenzy The Thinker spectacular read, if you enjoyed this; don’t forget to recommend and shaaaarrree... (Is sharing a thing on Medium?)